This week on Love And Hip Hop Atlanta, while one marriage dissolves, another is in the works. And while one pair of fake boobs also dissolves, another is getting implanted. Read all about it below.
“I’m gonna give her ass a pass ’cause it’s your mama, but if it had been somebody else, I’d have whooped her ass,” Kirk tells Rasheeda in the aftermath of getting his bike and potted palm run over by Shirleen.
Now, technically Kirk isn’t threatening Shirleen here, but the fact is, he’s still implying he wants to whoop Shirleen’s ass, and that’s so very wrong.
Rasheeda realizes the assh— nature of Kirks ways and proceeds to tell him that she’s pushing forward with a divorce. “At this most crucial time, my husband has walked out on me,” she tells him, but he defends himself, saying “I didn’t walk out. You told me to get the f— out.”
But Kirk got all his shenanigans out of his system, he swears, and now, only now that he got to mess around at the lake, is he ready to fight for Rasheeda’s love. Rasheeda isn’t having it, the fight should have come before he decided to put Mary Jane and a hot tub into play. “If this family is what you want, you fight for it,” she tells him, walking away.
We At War
Mimi and Erica take their conversation to the driving range (who knew?) so Erica can catch Mimi up on her situation with Scrappy and Momma Dee. Erica explains that she is D-O-N-E with Scrappy, if he goes back to jail, she isn’t going to be there for him, and she is especially done with that “ratchet-ass bitch,” Momma Dee. “I’ve said I was done before,” Mimi commiserates, “but when you’ve got a child involved…I’m just sayin’.”
Mimi tells Erica that as much as she wishes she could cut Stevie off, she can’t because of their daughter, Eva. But after she explains that Stevie has a habit of gifting her nice things like cars and then asking for, you know, lettuce, Erica is disgusted.
“You got a bitch, right? Go call her and f— her nasty ass, whatchou calling me for?” Mimi asks. Mimi then reveals that she’s moving on and focusing on herself for the moment and plans to get a Mommy Makeover, a.k.a. a boob job. Girlfriend explains that she has nursed Eva for THREE YEARS (!!!) and says “Girl, I need to get my boobs back.”
Erica joins Mimi at the doctor’s consultation to help Mimi pick out a new…pair…and Mimi tells the doctor that she wants to look natural, no “baseballs up to my neck,” and they browse the selection.
Erica picks up an enormous silicone implant and jokes “I want to look like Joseline Hernandez!” and Mimi turns away, telling her “Girl, bye.”
Fake out time! Joseline spent some time last week buying a ring for Stevie, and when they have dinner together and she offers him a present, we expected it to be said jewelry. Instead, she pulls out a wad of cash and two plane tickets to Puerto Rico so they can head down there to shoot her video. Stevie is just as surprised by this as he would have been about a proposal, methinks.
The tickets are for a flight in two days, and he doesn’t think they can pull a video together on such short notice. Joseline convinces him that she’s been preparing for this for a while, and eventually Stevie gets on board. “Vamos, baby!”
“Just give me my percentage and shut the f— up.”
Stevie wants to give Mimi the heads up about Puerto Rico, so they meet and he tells her he’s heading there to make a couple videos. Mimi’s response:
“No porn this time,” Stevie tells her. THIS TIME! Stevie doesn’t understand why Mimi isn’t excited that he and Joseline are going to make their video, because after all, Joseline is bringing in the money right now, and that means Stevie and Mimi both get a cut. Mimi is fine with them doing their business, but she doesn’t want Stevie to rub her nose in this trip. “Just give me my percentage and shut the f— up,” she says.
Stevie wants to keep Mimi happy, so he gives her a huge pink purse full of cash, sort of an advance on what his video with Joseline will bring in. Knowing how Stevie operates, she asks him what strings are attached to this gift. He promises that there are none, so into the Mommy Makeover fund it goes.
Scrappy is taking his rehabilitation seriously and holds a press conference to explain that he’s seeking in-patient drug counseling. Rehab is better than jail, and he’s ready to put in the time to get rid of his marijuana problem.
He meets with Erica to tell her he’s turning himself into the program, and it sounds like he’s already taking one of the many steps you go through when you have an addiction, he wants to make amends.
He tells her how much he loves her and how sorry he is for all the disrespect that’s been thrown her way from his mother and from his own actions over the years. That touches Erica.
After ten years off and on, Erica appreciates his admission but it’s too little too late. “It just hurts my heart that it all came so late in the game,” she says. Scrappy isn’t done though. He’s not only apologizing, he asks her to reconsider their engagement.
“Hold up!” she says. “Where is this coming from? Maybe because he’s going to rehab, now he thinks he can change his ways. As much as I wanna believe Scrappy, I don’t know why I should.”
No More Games
The talent has arrived in Puerto Rico. Joseline’s mood is anything but upbeat though, she’s got a lot of memories and sad feelings creeping in now that she’s returned to the place she grew up. “Where’s the Puerto Rican Princess? You look sad,” Stevie tells her.
“Everything I’ve been through, everything is just catching up to me,” she tells him. “I have no family. I have no dad. My dad died of an overdose, I don’t know my uncles, I never met my grandma, I have nobody.”
“I am your family,” Stevie tells her. Joseline is frustrated that Stevie pushes her hard and doesn’t try to understand what she’s going through. But he tells her “I’m there for you. Do you know I love you? From day one. No more games.” For all their dysfunction and bizarre love triangles, it’s pretty obvious in this moment why Joseline has hitched her wagon to Stevie. He’s good to her. “There’s something always negative in the universe trying to pull you down. We’re not gonna let that happen,” he tells her. We don’t know how to process Serious Stevie.
The Damn Blogs
Kirk’s exploits have made it to “the blogs” and that has made Rasheeda even more fired up over their situation, because now it’s public. When Kirk sits down to tell Rasheeda he’s working on things and “trying to be home,” she takes one look at these photos of Kirk with some “bitch look like she grabbin’ on his d—,” and tells him, “Look like you trying to be on the internet more than you trying to be home.”
“How much is a bitch gonna take? Enough is e-damn-nough!” she says. Kirk claims that the photos in question were a result of people peer pressuring him.
“Real talk? I’m at the point right now where I gotta take matters into my own hands,” she says. She’s seen the lawyer, she’s done the research about how to split their assets, and she’s ready to go.
“We goin’ there? I thought we was better than that,” he says. “Take your ass back to the drawing board, Rasheeda, and learn how to love your f—ing husband like you’re supposed to.” Girl, call that lawyer now.
Back in Puerto Rico, it’s the day of Joseline’s video shoot. Stevie asks her if she’s feeling better after yesterday’s emotional journey, and she tells him “I needed to flip out in order to relax.” Now that she’s done flipping out, she’s going to do what she does best.
(Check out all the photos from Joseline’s video shoot here.)
Smashed Da Homie
So back when Stevie and Benzino were beefing about Benzino claiming to have smashed Joseline, things were pretty dicey. They squashed their beef, but Benzino still went ahead and made his now-infamous “Smashed Da Homie” video, and when Karlie goes to see him, he’s pleased as can be to show it to her.
“What is this?” Karlie asks. When Benzino tells her it’s his new video (and no, it’s not actually Joseline in it), she can’t even. “Hold up, wait a minute. No, Benzino did not just make a nasty-ass video with Joseline wannabe, called ’Smashed Da Homie.’ Didn’t we go through enough of this already??”
Zino Grigio defends the video, saying he was inspired by what happened between himself and Stevie and Joseline. Art is all about inspiration, obviously. Karlie is tired of this conversation, so she changes the topic to her breast implants, which are currently leaking. She needs, in Benzino’s words, a tune-up. And she also needs him to pay for it. She needs anywhere from four to ten thousand dollars for said tune-up. Luckily, Benzino is a very generous benefactor, as he explains “Karlie and her tits will always have a good place in Zino’s heart.” So sweet! Someone cross-stitch that on a pillow. He vows to help her as best he can.
What’s It Gonna Be?
Now that the video shoot is a wrap, Joseline can finally get down to that last piece of Stevie J business she planned to conduct. She did but him a ring, after all, and nothing screams proposal like a tropical vacation (preceded by emotional breakdowns and scantily-clad choreography on the beach, duh).
“I think I feel in love with you all over again,” she tells him on their last night. “I wanna love you forever. I wanna make money with you forever.” Aww. It’s a true modern-day fairy tale. She tells him she has a gift for him and he starts squirming, “I’m nervous,” he says. “Like, what the f—?”
She pulls out the ring and tell-asks him “Maybe you ready to marry me now.”
“I don’t get what you’re asking me,” he says.
“I’m asking you to marry me!” she tells him. And he replies as only Stevie can.