As a longtime sufferer of Jelena’s tyrannical ways, Ahsha is finally taking control, momentarily ignoring other people’s feelings. Using Pete Davenport’s fame–that’s the dad she won’t talk to, in case you forgot–to get ahead in the All-Star vote? Textbook Jelena Howard. We know Hit The Floor likes to push the limit, but can two Devil Girls really be that ruthless?
HTF creator James LaRosa weighs in on last night’s penultimate episode, including Terrence feeling betrayed by the woman he thought he wanted to marry, Derek’s change of heart, Kyle’s big reveal, and the unsettling suspicion that a Devil Girl has danced her last routine. Check it out below.
“A Devil Girl was found floating under the Vincent Thomas Bridge.”
God, I was looking forward to this episode all season. Breaking it, writing it, filming it, airing it and now talking the hell all about it!
Why did I love it so much? Let me count the ways:
1. Ahsha’s Pirouette To The Dark Side: What was it going to take to push Care Bear to pull a Jelena-like move? Turns out, a whole lot. First, she had to walk in on her mother having sex with her father, WHICH would be gross enough, except that this is the guy Sloane hid from Ahsha her whole life. Discovering them doing the dirty-dirty didn’t go sooooo well, but in that heated exchange on the front lawn it did give us one of my favorite lines of the episode: “He’s your drug, and you’re back on the pipe all over again.” AHSHA YOU WASH THAT MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP! (Get it? Pipe? HEY-YO!)
Cut to a seething Ahsha cutting through the arena floor and being met by Jelena and her big bag of BS. “I don’t know what Olivia promised you, but if it was humiliation, she delivered. Chin up, All-Star.” WHAT A BITCH.
Olivia had already told Ahsha that leaking the tasty morsel that Pete was her dad would help her get some votes in the All-Star race. But after watching Jelena dance that routine she made Ahsha miss on Opening Day, Ahsha finally snapped. Why was Ahsha protecting two people who, in her mind, weren’t worrying about her at all? Man, eff Pete and Sloane. Soooo she told Olivia to take the info and run. I loved this scene not just because she made that call, but because she let Olivia know SHE knows she was only in this position in the first place because of Olivia’s beef with Jelena. Ahsha’s not stupid. The fact that she then says she wants to beat Jelena not for Olivia but for herself? That’s straight up G.
Learning Pete is Ahsha’s father makes Derek back off of her. Is it because Pete’s his coach? Because she didn’t jump at his Pick Me speech last week? Or because he’s using reverse psychology? HMM… Ahsha’s move also brought her life with German crashing down around her. All thanks to Jelena. WHAT A BITCH. The amount of time Jelena was sitting on that elevator kiss between Derek and Ahsha made you’d think she’d forgotten it. But Jelena don’t forget s–t. Jelena saw the media swarming around Ahsha and knew she had to do something. So she texted German telling him to ask his girl about it. Bam. End of relationship, as German broke up with her (HOW AMAZING WERE JONATHAN McDANIEL AND TAYLOUR PAIGE IN THAT SCEEEEEEEEENE HEART BROKEN WHY WHY WHY).
Ahsha bolted out the door with no German, no Derek, no Sloane, no Pete. No anything. Where do you go from there?
2. Raquel’s Revenge (subheading: JELENA HAS A HEART!): All season long Jesse has been a raging douche to his baby mama, all because of the twisted obsession he has with her. His need to have power over her. It’s an S&M relationship that, frankly, kinda takes two to tango. This week he had her over a barrel (possibly literally, you never know what kinda kink he’s into) with Raquel agreeing to have sex with him one last time. At the same time, all season long, Jelena has been a complete and total hard-ass. At least when it came to anyone besides Terrence. We also saw a hint of a human when she admitted at Derek’s mansion to dicking over Raquel at try-outs. But other than that it’s been stabbing people with knives and licking their blood off the business end of the blade.
SO, when Raquel told Jelena she was going to take a banana boat ride to Australia (Oh my God what is my problem), a horrified Jelena sprung into action. She set the money-grubbing agent up to meet unsigned mega-player LJ, knowing full well LJ would want to break him off a piece of that. Little did anyone know Jesse would actually let him! The negotiation began with Jesse asking if he’d be the top or the bottom, had a shared laugh, and ended with our:
LINE OF THE WEEK: “Do I look like a bottom to you?” – LJ
Cut to Jesse swilling champagne. How far would he go for millions of dollars?
Fast forward to Jesse earning his commission–or so he thought. Raquel busted out of the bathroom with her iPhone and a smile, revealing the set up and finally washing her hair of Jesse once and for all. Calling Jelena from Hollywood Blvd, Raquel thanked her old bud for giving her her son back. Jelena being Jelena, she wasn’t down for the smushy Hallmark moment and claimed she did it to stick it to Jesse. Both women knew she was full of crap. Jelena has a heart, and she used it to help a friend. In the most f–ked up way possible.
The sting didn’t go over well with Jesse, who roared at her that had no idea how much she’d pay for this. How far would he go to get back at her?
3. Jelena’s A Bitch Again: It didn’t take long (literally 15 seconds, count ‘em!) to learn Jelena was still Jelena. After spending the episode trying to make Terrence believe that she believed he didn’t dope, and even convincing Pete to take him off the bench in a speech racked with doubt, come to find out SHE SPIKED HIM. All for whatever was in that envelope Oscar slid to her. With Jelena stepping up for Terrence (liar!), Terrence was inspired to propose. The rock was almost as big as the hole he punched in the wall when he found the Oxymetholone in her locker. Did Jelena go too far this time?
4. Sloane v. Olivia: Sloane and Olivia have sort of co-existed in this super uneasy way this season, but this episode where their passive-aggressive banter came to a head. When Sloane found out Olivia leaked the daddy news, she stormed over to her office and proceeded to read her into the ground. I swear to God I thought she was going to put her fist through the back of Olivia’s head. I mean I know she wasn’t gonna cuz I wrote the episode but I IMAGINED IT AND IT WAS AWESOME. More awesome? The shot of Sloane arriving and seeing Olivia’s reflection in the glass over Sloane. My favorite shot of the season, brilliant work by director Daisy Mayer and our DP Chris Baffa. #swoon
5.Oscar and Mia Come Face to Face: Once upon a time there was a microphone. Two people were after it. One person got it. And when Mia walked into Oscar’s office (looking fierce!) and held it up, how great was it to see Oscar squirm? She tore him down for everything he did, which included forcing her on the run. But Mia’s another smartypants. She knew that keeping this going was going to, well, keep this going. So she handed the microphone over. Some might think that was the opposite of smart, but Oscar’s a pitbull. Throw the damn dog his Milk-Bone so you can walk away with your arms and legs. What I liked most in this scene is you can actually see Oscar’s regret. He really does have a fondness for her. If anyone deserves a fresh start, it’s Mia, and you can see Oscar wanted that for her. Buuuut more importantly he wanted that damn microphone, which he promptly crushed to bits and then promoted Chase the afterglow. And then they made out. Or something, I was really high the day we filmed that.
6. Kyle Is a Person: This whole season, Kyle has drifted from one hilarious storyline to the next. She’s so fun and funny that we never say, wait a minute, who the hell is she and what does she want? We started to get clues the last couple weeks: she’s after this insane amount of money that will buy her freedom (whatever that means), she’s getting calls from prison THAT SHE’S TAKING… This week we learn a whole lot more, from adorably dorky internet billionaire Jake Vaughan. He came to her all puppy dog eyed and bumbling (and unaware of her Akon sexcapades), and managed to score a date with her. Though really he’s so damn rich he just needed not to vomit or pull a Paula Deen on her to make that happen. Their date was perhaps the most boring on record (fluoride refracting Abercrombie and what?). Suddenly, when he mentioned his dad was a preacher, Kyle sparked up. So was hers! Cut to them having crazy sex (apparently adorably dorky doesn’t preclude feral nookery) and the reveal that he not only knew about her sex tape the whole time, he knows EVERYTHING about her. Where she’s from, her credit score, the separation of her parents, her work history–-we got it ALL. Including a name that made Kyle shut him down. “Benny Wise.” As soon as she heard that she was throwing on her clothes and throwing Jake overboard for being a creepster. She came home to a hand-delivered, handwritten note saying “I’m coming for you.” And for the first time all season, the hard-partying woman who was in control of every situation suddenly lost it. And knew it.
7. THE END: A Dead Devil Girl! And a whole bunch of suspects. Did Kyle cross paths with the wrong dude? Did Jelena push Terrence too far? Did Raquel push Jesse too far? Did life push Ahsha too far?
QUESTIONS FROM YOU!
“What’s in that envelope Jelena got @JamesLaRosa? #HitTheFloor” – @ImHis1QueenBee
What envelope? Hm? Huh? What? SEE, I CAN ASK QUESTIONS TOO.
“Hey @JamesLaRosa when r we going to meet Miguel? #HitTheFloor” – @Elliesmiles96
Aaaat Raquel’s funeral? (shrugs)
“TELL ME WHO DIES @JamesLaRosa.”
See, if you’d only phrased it in the form of a question… #jeopardyrules
“@JamesLaRosa if @TaylourPaige dies you know tears will be nationwide I mean who will be the main character for season 2?” – @Foreva_Aries
Mitsy Vincent, Olivia’s secret daughter with Oscar played by Elle Fanning.
Okay so questions were a bad idea before the season finale CUZ I CAN’T SAY S–T.
I can tell you this. If you thought this week’s episode was a beast, you ain’t seen nuthin’ yet.
NEXT WEEK: The season finale to end all season finales.
See you there!
Catch the season finale of Hit The Floor on Monday at 9/8 C. And for all things Devil World, head to The Locker Room.
[Photo Credit: James LaRosa]