'Love And Hip Hop Atlanta' Finale: "Life Partner Gang! LPG, Baby!"
If only we could all be a part of Stevie's Life Partner Gang!
Life Partners
Most women wouldn't go out and buy their man a ring and propose, but Joseline is not most women. During their trip to Puerto Rico to film Joseline's video, she took it upon herself to present Stevie with a ring. It must look distorted with his Stevie-vision because he's like "What's this??"
"It's a ring," Joseline says.
When Joseline asks for his answer to the big question, most women would know to read between the lines and figure out what his silence and bumbling means, but Joseline being Joseline takes it as a soft yes. "I'm gonna say...we got time," he tells her. "I'm not gonna say yeah right now. And I'm not gonna say no." Sadly, Stevie's wishy-washiness is only a sign of what else is to come in this episode. Stevie explains "Just wait. Patience is the key to everything great, baby." Does Stevie really think the plan he has in store is so great?
It's A Boy
Rasheeda is moving ahead with single-motherhood, or at least Kirk-less motherhood, and she's asked all the girls to come over and help paint the nursery for her....baby boy!
"The blessing part is I've had an amazing pregnancy," she tells the ladies. "The f---ed up part is everything that me and Kirk been going through." She tells them she's seen an attorney and is serious about separation. Erica, whose own relationship has seen its share of drama, tells Rasheeda they can't break up, they're the couple she looks up to. "It feels all too familiar," Erica explains. "One minute, Kirk wants his family, and the next minute, you wanna lay up with a ho. These men have to realize they can't have it both ways!"
Erica tells the girls about her own situation with Scrappy and how he wants her to reconsider their engagement, but she's all about the girl power at the moment and declares "I am happy single and drama-free!" Rasheeda's on-board with that. "A toast to being drama-free and ain't takin' no s---!"
Darryl
Scrappy is in a 30-day treatment facility for his drug use and even though it's not jail, he's on lockdown and serious about his rebirth. (He's also growing a mean playoff beard.) He's so serious about his progress that he's not Lil Scrappy in here, he's Darryl Richardson. He has all the time in the world to think about his life right now and he says "I'm thinking to myself, how the hell did I get into this s---? And the way I see it, it's all the women in my life, starting with my ma."
When Momma Dee shows up for a visit, he blames the ladies he loves for his drug use. "You, Erica, Shay...y'all got me smokin' heavy," he tells his mother. God bless Momma Dee, she breaks it down for him. "I hear what you're saying about the triggers with me, Erica, and Shay, but at the end of the day, we all have a choice to make. No one's controlling us. We do what we wanna do. You didn't smoke because of me, Shay, and Erica."
"I need for you to stand up and be that man that I taught you to be and stop pointing the finger at MOI," she says.
Scrappy tells her that half his drug problem is because of her. "You can't go down to one third?" she asks. Then he tells her she needs to be the bigger person when it comes to Erica and just accept her for who she is. That doesn't sit well with Momma, but he needs this. "How does it look to be half a family?" he asks.
Reluctantly she agrees, telling him "All right, Darryl." He hits her back with "So chill out, Debra." And now we know what the Dee stands for!
Safe Sex And Paychecks Is What It's All About
"Me and my mouth, we've managed to rub some people the wrong way," K.Michelle explains as she invites all her friends together for a dinner to "close this chapter of my life." Yes, the girl is making big changes, and along with that comes making amends.
K explains that since Mimi wasn't around ("She was nursing her ta tas.") to join her, she invited her new homegirl, Joseline, out to the gathering. So once everyone is there, she tells the group "I am moving to New York City. I'm leaving Atlanta, officially. I've outgrown being here." Her new music management is in New York, and so it a whole new world of potential suitors who may be compatible with that Hot Pocket.
"I haven't had sex in eight months," she says, and Joseline is NOT having it. "Ain't no way. Bitch, I can't go two days without no d*ck. I get beefcake every day."
Ariane isn't sure how to respond.
Everyone, including Erica, who tried to beat Joseline's ass last season, is surprised at how fun she is to hang out with, and the setting seems like the right time to make her own big announcement. "Me and Stevie got engaged!" she says, waving her ring around.
Ariane is skeptical and gets Joseline to admit that Stevie didn't give Joseline that ring, it was Joseline who proposed.
But Joseline doesn't care about the details, as a woman, she explains, it's up to her to take control of the situation.
They get back to K.Michelle's news and toast to her move, and she triumphantly declares "My hot pocket is open for business!"
Benzino's "Smashed Da Homie" video, based on (or not) his situation with Joseline was released last week, and Stevie sits down with Zino Grigio and his Joseline look-alike to air out the situation. When Stevie sees the woman impersonating his maybe-fiancee, he says "I don't know what garbage can he found Oscar the Grouch out." Ouch.
Benzino apologizes for their issues and Stevie accepts, pointing to Fake-Joseline and says "She's all right." "I know I am," Fake-Joseline says. She's certainly got the self-assurance of the real Joseline! Stevie doesn't really want to have the rest of this conversation with Fakey-J nearby so she excuses herself and the men talk it out. Stevie wished Benzino had talked to him before making the video, but he forgives and moves on.
Then Stevie shows off the ring Joseline gave him and explains that he was proposed to. In his mind though, it's not a situation of "man and wife," so much as it's a request to be a part of the "life partner gang! LPG, baby!"
Kirk Wants His Family Back
Kirk shows up to his house with a carload full of baby gifts and swag for Rasheeda. This is his way of apologizing for his indiscretions (it was all Benzino's idea, to buy Rasheeda off, apparently). "Let me back in!" he says, offering a trunk of mylar balloons to his wife who he cuckolded on national television. Because nothing says "I'm sorry for cheating" like gifts from the Hallmark store.
Rasheeda's not having it and doesn't accept his apology. "What am I supposed to say?" she asks, after he apologizes and tells her yet again that he was just messing with her to get under her skin and "relieve [his] stress." "You know what? A real man deals with his problems," she tells him. "And a real woman stick beside their husband!" he retorts. Not sure it's the same thing, actually.
"Do I love him?" she asks, "Yes, I do. Do I think a separation is where we need to be at at this point? Yes, I do."
You Wanted Him, You Got Him
Ariane and Erica go to Mimi's house to check out her new boobs, and to tell her about Joseline and Stevie's engagement.
Erica doesn't want to get all Karlie Redd and blab gossip to Mimi, but when they tell her the news, Mimi has a good laugh about it. "If there's anything that man is committed to, it's his d*ck and some money!" Mimi says. "And nothing else. Good luck, girlfriend." She's been there, she knows.
Amends
K.Michelle is now cool with Karlie Redd. K.Michelle is now cool with Joseline. There's only one person left for her to be cool with and that's Rasheeda.
"I got K.Michelle to sit down with the one person she refused to sit down with," Karlie Redd, this year's Nobel Peace Prize winner, says. "And that's Rasheeda, baby."
"I think this bitch's head not on straight, or she done bumped s--- or something," Rasheeda says when she first hears about Karlie's plan. "Me being pregnant walking into a situation with K.Michelle may not be the right thing to do. But you know what? F--- it. I'm here now, let's see what's about to go down."
K admits that she came at Rasheeda out of hurt, not anger, and all their fighting was because she just never expected Rasheeda to comment on K's life the way she did. "I don't want no bad for you," she says. "And I don't want no bad for you," Rasheeda reciprocates. This is the season of handling things maturely, because they do come to a truce, no candles are thrown, and K is able to move to New York with no broken relationships left behind.
"The Only Thing That Loves You"
Benzino has apologized to Stevie for "Smashed Da Homie," but really it's Joseline he needs forgiveness from because she's the subject of this whole thing, so the three of them meet for a drink. Kirk mentioned earlier that Benzino's advice was to shower Rasheeda with gifts to get back in with her, and Benzino tries this trick with Joseline, giving her a box of Godivas. These men. Look at yourselves! Balloons will not erase cheating! Chocolates will not erase claiming you slept with someone and then making a video about it!
Joseline accepts the chocolates and the apologies but she tells Benzino "Y'all were supposed to be friends. And you were to respect your friend's woman."
She then explains "I'm not even thinking about old Benzino. And not only that, the song's not even hot." Dammmnn.
Benzino leaves and Joseline turns the topic back to the engagement and asks "When we gonna get married?" Stevie warns her not to ask too many times, and she tells him "I don't give a f---! I have to ask you, 'cause if I wait on you it will never happen."
Moving Forward
Erica goes to see Scrappy in rehab and he admits that the last time they spoke, he was high out of his mind, because lately he's been scared to talk to her. They have their first genuine talk in a long time and it makes Erica realize that even though they've loved each other in the past "after eleven years, it's time to let it go."
She gives him back the ring that she threatened to pawn, to his surprise. He continues to apologize for everything between them, including things Momma Dee has done, and Erica tells him, "Let me get one thing straight. Our relationship, it didn't end because of your momma." Momma Dee will be glad to hear it.
“What the f— is this man up to?”
"It's time for celebration!" Joseline says as she walks into Stevie's long-awaited "just be patient" setup. The room is decked out in rose petals, Stevie is tickling the ivories, and Joseline is dressed up. And so is Mimi.
"What's going on?" Joseline asks. Mimi, also wants to know, "What the f--- is this man up to?" Well, let him explain.
"I'm both of y'all's family," he tells them. And he says the two things he was put on earth to do are to make music and to take care of his family. So with that, he tells Joseline "This life partner scenario, I wanna make it official." He slides a ring onto her finger, and Mimi chuckles over on the couch.
"I'm excited, but not really because I got somebody here who's disturbing me," Joseline says.
Stevie walks over to Mimi to offer her "A small token" of his appreciation to her, and hands her the same ring box. "Classic Stevie J! Classic!" Joseline finds it less funny. "Are you serious? You bitch!" she screams as she tries to pound on Stevie. "After all I do for you!"
"Where you goin', ma? I just approved your membership for the Life Partner Gang!" Stevie says. "And you're leaving already? The LPG won't be the same without the baddest boosh!"
In the end, it's Stevie who takes the elevator down while Joseline goes back toward Mimi. "You wanted him, girl. You got him," Mimi tells her. Maybe after two seasons there are lessons to be learned from Mimi after all? Only the reunion will tell...