Basketball Wives Episode 5: Smart Mouths

Shaniece, as we learned earlier this season, was no fan of Ochocinco’s. That was a bit of a surprise, knowing how close she is to her mother, but given her judgment and opinion on the entire Chad-Evelyn relationship, she seems like maybe one of the only people in Ev’s life who can be truly honest with her.

After the whole “photo situation,” in which Evelyn was photographed holding Chad’s hand last week as she entered a fan appreciation dinner, she checks in with Shaniece to ask if Shaniece was concerned at all when she saw that in the news. Shaniece tells her no, she wasn’t concerned because she knows where Evelyn’s head is at concerning the relationship now. “What was I thinking?” Ev asks. “I would never in life ever deal with that again. Ever.”

“I married him because I loved him and wanted to be with him,” Evelyn explains, adding that she truly loved him and they had a cool thing going on. “Flopped!” Shaniece says. “It flopped like a pancaaaaake,” Evelyn responds.

Shaunie has yet another production underway that has something to do with the spouses of basketball players. The Wives Of Basketball is a stage play she’s producing in collaboration with playwright J.D. Lawrence, and she’s working out the details of the production. One thing in particular that has Shaunie concerned is the fact that there’s a part for her in the show.

“Are you gonna do it?” her boyfriend Marlon asks.

“Helllll no!” Shaunie says. She’s no stage ac-tor. But Marlon’s an actor and he’d love to be in it. Shaunie says she’s not just going to give him a part in the show because they’re dating and that he has to audition. But “if Marlon doesn’t get casted in the play…that might be a problem!”

Despite Shaunie’s nerves when the big audition comes, after she watches him act, she tells us “He nailed it!” Awkwardness avoided.

Evelyn and Tasha are out shopping and Tasha mentions that she and Tami met up to talk about the “really right or really wrong” comments. “It wasn’t said like, with malicious intent!” Evelyn says, and Tasha agrees. “The thing is though, she can go from zero to a thousand, that’s just the reality of it.”

To prove she’s trying to change her life for the better, Tami meets with a life coach to whom she can vent a little and get some advice about how to stop letting other people prevent he from being this better, less angry version of herself. “Even though I’m trying to move on,” she says “I tend to fall back on old habits, and I really would like to change that.” She tells the life coach about the comment that keeps being brought up and will never die, and the life coach asks “How much of what people say do you take personally?”

Tami explains that if it’s someone in her inner circle, she takes things very personally, so she definitely needs to have a conversation with Shaunie and Evelyn to get her feelings off her chest.

Tami makes a list of all the ways she can be set off, and she says that the wrong tone of voice is a big one, as is someone waving hands in her face. That, she says, is an association to her mother scolding her as a child and waving a finger in her face. “I was blown away by the realization that a lot of the way I handle people today is directly relative to my experiences in the past,” Tami said after her session.

“I am working on myself, but I am not Mother Theresa and I am not gonna lead you to the mountaintop. So. There will be those moments where if you push me, there’s the potential that the old Tami will pop back up and pop a bitch.”

Evelyn, Shaunie and Suzie are prepping for Tasha’s birthday, and they all go to Babeland to get her a sex toy as a gift. Evelyn thinks Tasha is conservative and needs something more “first base,” and along with the salesgirl, they test their way around several buzzing devices, some discreet, some not so much.

They spot a pair of underwear with a hole in it that they learn is actually a harness for a strap-on, and Suzie exclaims “We should get this for her chef!” Good old Suzie, beating a dead horse at every turn. Evelyn laughs but wants no part in that conversation since she already got in hot water for ever bringing the chef thing up in her book.

The women joke that they want to get Tasha this sexy gift as a way to loosen her up because she’s very “OCD” so fingers crossed they get her something she likes. Although as Ev points out, it’s always the quiet ones that are the freakiest…

Tasha might actually need that vibrator before her birthday rolls around, because she’s definitely tense now that the opening of her weave bar is close. The problem is that no progress has been made on the storefront and she’s totally stressed.

One of her partners promises that the shop will be done by their grand opening. “It better be!” Tasha says. “Don’t have me looking like a fool!”

Deep down though, Tasha is incredibly nervous despite her partner’s assurances, and she wants to cancel the grand opening. She makes a joke to her partner, Heather, joking that Heather would need a head-butt to kick her into a higher gear and get things done, and later she makes the same joke to Shaunie. Knowing Evelyn’s situation, Shaunie doesn’t find the joke funny, despite Tasha telling her “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Shaunie’s only response: “Tasha. Girl.”

All five women get together for the first time since their initial dinner meet-and-greet, in order to sort things out with all the various comments and things that have been said. It’s time to clear the air.

First things first: “Really right or really wrong.”

Shaunie asks Tasha to clarify what was said to her regarding Tami, and whether or not “I did or did not plant a negative seed in your head about Tami.”

“At the end of the day, no,” Tasha says looking right at Tami. Shaunie then continues, saying that the reason she thought things could go wrong was because both women have “smart mouths.” So it was a “phantom seed” that was sown, Shaunie says, defending her actions.

“So,” Evelyn says, putting her hand up…in Tami’s face… “Boop.”

“Don’t put your hand up,” Tami warns her, and she does it again. “You know I don’t like that. You don’t do me like this.” As Tami talks, Ev mutters “Bitch,” under her breath and Tami leaps from her chair and dares her “Put your hand up again! Put your hand up again!”

Shaunie stands up and intervenes, telling Tami “We’re not doing this now,” and that, Tami says, brings her “back to one.” She calms down and regroups.
Back to Tasha having a smart mouth though…
Shaunie must have told Evelyn about Tasha’s head butt comments because after the Tami drama dies down, Evelyn says “I felt like, who says that? Like, who says head butt?”

“First of all, it wasn’t a jab at you, it wasn’t directed toward you,” Tasha says. “I could say to you , you know what, Evelyn, I don’t appreciate you putting that stuff in the book about what happened between me and my chef and what happened between me and Stephon, but I didn’t say that to you. You said you gave everybody disclaimers about putting it in there but you didn’t. You didn’t come to me and tell me about it.”

Cut to Shaunie who wants to be anywhere but here.

“…But I’m not upset,” Tasha finishes. From her expression, it seems like Evelyn realizes they’re kind of even now (maybe?) or at least they’ve both done something kinda s**tty to each other. But Tasha feels compelled to admit that this was not the first head butt comment she’s made. She mentions the conversation she had with Suzie in the car about how Evelyn should wear a helmet on a date, and says “But it was all in good fun.”

Again, cut to Shaunie —

and Tami,

who realize this is the most uncomfortable conversation ever.

Tasha says she and Suzie had a good laugh over the “joke.”

“And you thought that was funny?” Ev asks Suzie.

Things just went…really wrong.