Morgan’s back, Ang’s tooth is missing, and Ryan’s grinding with Cristina on a surfboard. Yep, it’s this week’s most important Miami Monkey moments!
5. Morgan is back and working at The Monkey! Ryan announces – for the 800th time – her frustration that she moved to Miami to work at the Monkey and gets no love from Ang, who is obsessed with Morgan. But Ang is too busy shouting “I love Morgan!” while wearing her Team Morgan t-shirt to notice. Meanwhile, Morgan gazes at them all over her tented fingers and lets out an evil cackle. Mwah ha ha!
4. Marissa and Raquel share a moment over Frankie. Well didn’t this just break our darn hearts! Marissa shares with Raquel just how much she’s missing her jailed husband Frankie and how she’s desperately waiting for their conjugal visits to kick in (oh girl, we are rooting for you). Raquel, who’s known Frankie since they were kids, gets emotional and professes her admiration for Marissa and her devotion to her man. Friendship!
3. Ang plays favorites with Morgan. Ang is essentially in puppy love with Morgan, who we suspect is manipulating the adoration to her advantage. (Not that we blame her – all’s fair in love, war, and Miami bartending feuds.) Ang invites Morgan to do another photoshoot – this time featuring only the two of them. It includes this perfect exchange between Morgan and photographer Chrispy:
C: “Don’t be a bitch.”
M: “I don’t know anything else.”
(Cut to: Ryan nodding her head, agreeing wholeheartedly). The highlight of the shoot: Ang thinking she’s swallowed a bug only to realize it was her tooth, which she then accidentally spits out of her mouth and onto the ground.
The gal pals then trot around South Beach guzzling shots, which seem to have zero effect on Morgan while simultaneously turning Ang into a muppet.
2. Ang gets in trouble for being too hammered. Ang stumbles into The Monkey wasted and hot flashing which pisses off her daughter Raquel, who continue to be the most drama-free and responsible member of the Monkey team. In Ang’s defense, she seems like a fun drunk (who’s also maybe going through menopause?).
1. Cristina steals Nate away from Ryan. Sure, this moment is all about Ryan and Cristina trying to win the Nate Ryan prize. But oh how we wish the ladies would put away the claws and turn them on Nate instead, who invited two women on a date and then pitted them against each other for his own amusement. I mean if that isn’t d-bag territory then we dunno what is. Cristina, Ryan – you both deserve better!
Bonus points to Roxanne, who drops some mean but hilarious trash talk. Welcome to New York, Cristina: Concrete jungle where insults are made, there’s no one you can’t diss.