Forget Morgan – this week’s episode of Miami Monkey was all about Marissa, her midriff and her feud with the other ladies in the house. Ready to fight it out? Here are this week’s most important Monkey moments!
1. Marissa makes a scene. The Brooklynite beefs with Roxanne after she makes fun of Cristina, and we think she has a point. It’s totes unprofessional of Roxanne to mock her own employee — even if she did steal Patron and grind on her co-worker at a BBQ. But then Marissa starts complaining about having a migraine…by screaming at everyone. Ang hypothesizes that, “All that time without sex can make you f*cking nuts.” Think she’s right?
2. A little yoga makes everyone even more tense. Raquel invites everyone to get on their mats and down dog their problems away, but a post-yoga class convo only widens the divide between Marissa and Team Staten Island.
3. Mama Ang takes Cristina under her wing. In a sweet moment of motherly tenderness, Ang straight talks Cristina on her partying issues and lends an ear when X-tina reveals that she’s exhausted by the demands of supporting herself. Cristina still goes and grinds all over Nate again, but hey – at least she’s working on it?!
4. Big Ang has a BIG birthday. The girls throw Ang a huge birthday celebration complete with two tiny monkeys and Ang’s “ass pants.” And that just about tells you everything you need to know.
5. The Marissa-Cristina alliance forms (much to the displeasure of the rest of the gals). While outside Ang’s party for a smoke break, Marissa and Cristina bond over the toxic tude Ryan and Roxanne bring to the bar. (They never once mention their own toxic tude, but that’s a topic for a different convo.)
Later on, Morgan then tells Roxanne and Ryan that Marissa’s been confiding in Cristina about their issues, and they predictably get pissed off at Marissa once more. We get why they’re mad, but instead can they ALL band together to confront Morgan, who stirred the pot and then tried to play innocent?
No matter what the ladies do, drama abounds. You can cleanse the bar with sage, but there’s no taking the monkey business out of the Monkey.