Tensions are running as high as Ang’s heels at the Miami Monkey, with so much drama it’s like a high school theater club up in here. Or as Ryan says, in the understatement of the century: “We’re from New York; we’re not relaxed people. We’re very high strung.”
And now, your top 5 moments of wonderful cray:
1. Ryan apologizes to Morgan. Wait, say that again?! Ryan. Apologized. To. Morgan!?!? Yes, you heard that right – the two enemies buried the hatchet and then proceeded to talk sh*t about other people, specifically Cristina and Marissa. Later on, they get together in their bikini tops to booze it up and continue the trash talk party. Friendship?
2. Morgan tries to get Nate on her side. Luckily, it doesn’t work and he plays nice with Cristina long enough to inform her that Morgan’s selling her out behind her back. As Nate says, it’s “some mean girl sh*t.” For once we respect the dude for doing the RIGHT thing!
3. Morgan says she hates Cristina because “she just exists.” Um. Morgan. Girl. Wut.
Then she denies her friendship with Cristina in the staff meeting, telling her: “I don’t know you.”
4. Oh right, the staff meeting. Raquel, you are the most levelheaded and sane person on this show but this was by far the worst decision you’ve made yet because: THE SCREAMING. Oh, the screaming.
5. Marissa and Ryan and the battle of who can be more insane. In this round, Marissa wins with her threats to Ryan’s life. Or as she says, “It’s not a threat it’s a f*ckin’ promise.”
Ryan leaves in tears, Marissa leaves to go visit that incarcerated husband of hers, and the rest of the gang is left terrified, huddling in the corner, their eyes glazed over with fear.
“These b*tches are taking it to the next level,” says Cristina. A-to-the-MEN.
But we’re kind of grateful for the fight, because from it is born the next great TV sitcom of all time: The Odd Couple – The Big Ang n’ Ryan edition!