'Love & Hip Hop' Episode Two: I Make Dreams Come True

"As messy as me and Erica were last year, Peter's got us beat by a hundred," Rich Dollaz begins this week. Rich has just learned that Peter Gunz is married to Amina, because Mrs. Pankey herself told him. Yeah, safe to say anything Rich and Erica were up to last season pales in comparison to this mess.

More importantly though, Peter is so very angry at Amina for revealing the truth. Not very husband-y behavior, Peter!

"You didn't tell him what this really is," Amina says to Peter, and Rich just watches this s--- -show play out before his eyes.

"This is a joke, right?" he asks. "Where's Ashton Kutcher?"

"Are you f---ing kidding me? Yeah I fell in love with Amina. Yeah, I married her. It was a rash decision, but her going and talking like that? Killing me, man," Peter says. About his wife. And her desire to tell people they are married. In most corners of the world, this is not such a bizarre thing.

Yandy tells K she and Rich have started their label together which leads to some hilarious Rich-bashing. Yandy agrees that Rich may have a bad reputation for "thinking with his little head instead of his big head," but that he's a great music businessman and that's all she cares about --- making money. And that leads to Yandy giving us the gif of the night when she says "At the end of the day y'all know how I feel about gettin' my checks. I gets'em. Raaaor!"

Yandy then plans a party for K to welcome her to the city which sounds fun enough, but it will lead to a little bit of drama when it turns out Amina and Tara are both invited.

Nya Lee is a dancer and rapper, and she's got a burgeoning career and music video in the works. While she's working, Rich Dollaz pays her a visit to see about a little collabo, but since this is bash Rich day on Love & Hip Hop, she hears him out and then tells him she knows his management style. "You f--- your artists," she says. "The last thing I need to be associated with is Rich Dollaz."

"I think you're a cornball," she tells him. Rich has to smirk because he can't believe his ears.

"I make dreams come true!" he tells Nya defensively. Five times he tells her. And then she kicks him out of her shoot.

Peter meets with Tara for dinner to talk about their recent spats about Amina, and Tara tells him she doesn't want to be that "jealous woman at home" and he shouldn't feel like he can't have fun. It really sucks seeing how understanding and forgiving Tara can be, while we all know the truth about Peter and Amina already, doesn't it?

Tara explains that a few years ago, she dealt with a similar situation with Peter, where he was messing around with an ex, but also hiding a whole second family from her, too. At that moment, she says "I was completely done."

For the sake of the family, she took him back. "I've lived through a mistake, but I won't live through another one."

During their dinner, they try to come to an agreement over Peter being home more and putting more effort into Tara and their kids who, he says, are his number one priority. "Promise me you'll never leave me," he tells her, like a man delusional enough to think she'll agree to that, no questions asked.

"I can promise you I'll never leave you as long as you don't do anything stupid," she says.

"Say 'no matter what,'" he tells her.

"I would never say that," Tara tells him.

"My name is Saigon...I'm the coolest guy in the world, to me," begins the always humble rapper whom fans of Entourage and cool guys alike may already be familiar with. Here he is with his manager, Turtle.

Saigon and Erica Jean have a son together, but they actually have "zero relationship" with one another, Saigon says.

Saigon explains that he and Erica decided one night that they both wanted kids and boom, one try was all it took. However, Saigon also decided he wanted kids with his girlfriend at the time, so he has two children who are one month apart.

Erica's side of the story is a bit different, as she explains that she was always in love with Saigon (a.k.a. Brian) and always wanted his child, but while she was pregnant, he went on tour and "got cold feet" about things. Nowadays, they want to be like more of a family and spend more time together to see where it goes.

Peter and Amina get together to busk in the park/he calls her a snitch for revealing they are married.

"It's not fair that you want me to act like your wife but you don't treat me like your wife," she tells him. "Yo, you want to be treated like my wife, you gotta act like my wife," he retorts. "I AM your wife," she responds.

See, the thing is, Peter has told Amina that his relationship with Tara is over and he keeps promising that he's going to break up with Tara "tomorrow." But tomorrow never comes.

"You used to be my getaway from the bulls---," he tells her, "and now you're becoming part of the bulls---." What a sweet talker, this guy.

And then he tells us that keeping the marriage quiet was one of five rules he laid out for her. RULES. Unfortunately he doesn't tell us the other four. Now we really need to know those, Peter!

He wants the marriage kept a secret because "If you can tell that, what else you gonna tell? I got a lot of deep, dark secrets, you can't be revealing my s---."

Amina forgives him for being Peter, but threatens "If he doesn't tell Tara soon, then I will."

Nya can't keep the information that Rich came to see her at her video shoot to herself, so she meets with Erica Mena to tell her. "Your boy came to my video," she says.

"My boy? Who?" Erica asks.

Nya tells Erica she thinks Rich did her wrong and just operates kinda dirty as a manager, and Erica agrees...but she also still wants to work with him again. "Me and Rich, we make money together," Erica says.

Here's what happens when you play a game of pickup basketball with Peter Gunz. You get to talking and all of a sudden the paternity of your child is in doubt. Saigon and Peter know one another from way back, and they decide to play some ball together, and in the course of Saigon explaining that he's debating getting back together with Erica Jean, Peter plants a seed that maybe, just maybe, Saigon's son is not actually his.

Peter Gunz: when he's not f---ing up his own relatonships, he's f---ing up those of the people around him.

And all of this because people don't think Saigon's son looks like him. Sigh. When Saigon tells Erica about his new doubts, she reacts appropriately. "That's the stupidest thing--- he looks just like you. Where does this a---hole get off?"

Joe and Tahiry, finally! Welcome to the episode. Joe is in Soho at a denim store and he's got big plans to custom-make Tahiry some jeans. At first this sounded corny, but on second thought, Joe is kind of awesome because lord knows how awful it is to go jeans shopping as a woman. Besides, he's trying to win points with Tahiry because they're working so hard on themselves in therapy.

Tahiry is wary of taking any fashion gifts from Joe though. "I got this," Joe assures her.

"Nuh uh, not the way you were wearing vests last year," she jokes. Thank God we're not the only ones who noticed.

Tahiry tells Joe she has an audition for a movie which she's incredibly excited for, but Joe is down on the idea because it means four to six weeks of Tahiry away from the relationship and away from the therapist. Joe is trying to be serious about them for once and feels abandoned at the idea of Tahiry leaving.

"We're finally living our dreams!" Tahiry says. "And Joe wants to be insecure now? Really??"

Rich and Yandy have yet to discuss Amina as a possible artist for their record label, so when they finally meet Rich can't hep but spill the beans on what's really up. "She's messing with Pete."

"Why would you tell me this??" she yells at Rich. "What am I supposed to do with this information??" Yandy's face throughout the conversation is priceless. "Dammmmmmn Gina!"

"I've got this bit of information that could ruin a family," she says, adding that things are really getting complicated now that she's invited Amina and Tara to K.Michelle's welcome to New York party.

When Peter catches wind that his two women are invited to the party he races over to Griffin to stop Amina from going in.Tara has already gone inside, but he catches Amina's car as it pulls up and grabs her. "Ummm, we not going in," he tells her. And she was so happy to see him, too.

"Why?"

"Tara's in there."

"Why did you come here? To stop me from going in?" she asks. Amina starts to cry and asks how much longer this can go on, how many more times can Peter tell her "tomorrow"? And the he has the balls to tell her to knock it off, that she's "looking crazy" and making him "look bananas." Oh, Peter. You don't need Amina for that.

Amina walks away from him and tells him "Your word means nothing."

"If he doesn't tell her, I'm going to decide where and when she finds out. Not him." From the "Next Week On..." scenes, safe to say Tara's going to find out soon. Very soon.