Dr. Jenn On Couples Therapy Episode 4: Dropping Bombs

On this week’s Couples Therapy, everyone ganged up on Farrah Abraham for not owning up to her sex tape (which some might call a porno). We spoke to Dr. Jenn Berman about the issue and she assured us that in an upcoming episode, there will be major breakthroughs on this very topic, but in the meantime, Farrah is dealing with the repercussions of the tape and how it’s affecting her relationships with the cast. We also got into Jon Gosselin’s history and Liz’s harsh criticism of his under-the-covers activities — read on for all of Dr. Jenn’s commentary about this week’s episode!

Sada and Whitney’s fight this week was frustrating because Whitney provoked Sada by saying she was being flirtatious with Ghost, and when Sada reacted and told her she was going to bed, Whitney then got upset and wondered what was wrong. It was yet another source of conflict for them.

And what happens with them is that they don’t get to the root of the issue. I don’t think for a minute that Whitney thinks Sada actually wants to sleep with Ghost. What happened was Whitney felt neglected. Her feelings were hurt and she felt that she won’t receiving the attention she wanted from her partner. Instead of saying “Hey, honey, I need a little TLC and a little attention,” instead she was passive aggressive and withholding and then she was aggressive and accusing.

Has this issue ever come up before, someone in the house thinking their partner was attracted to someone else in the house?

It’s never come up where someone has accused their partner of being attracted to someone else, but it has come up where people have felt that there was a flirtation with someone. Courtney Stodden in season two was constantly flirting, especially with Nik Richie. That was an issue but there was never an “Oh, you want to sleep with her,” thing, it was just like “Enough already, stop flirting.”

I’m still torn about my feelings on Ghostface at this point. I feel bad that he thinks he’s considered the bad guy, but he’s also so hard on Kelsey.

He doesn’t show a lot of empathy. And he didn’t get a lot of empathy growing up. It’s hard to demonstrate something that you didn’t receive. I think from Ghost’s perspective, he was like “I thought everyone knew the rules of this relationship, I was dating other people when we met, we’ve never nailed this down as a monogamous, committed relationship and I thought what I was doing was okay and now everyone thinks I’m the bad guy.” As much as Ghost is a tough guy, at the same time, he has a big heart and wants to be liked.

Was Kelsey surprised to hear she wasn’t the only woman in his life, or did she realize he was dating around?

She was shocked.

So they’re both dropping bombs on one another, since she revealed she had stripped previously.

And the thing is, neither one thought that what they were revealing would be a bomb for the other person. Kelsey had no idea he would have such a big reaction to her being a stripper three or four years before, and he had no idea that it would be so shocking to her that he dates other people. Talk about lack of communication and openness in a relationship.

We dug deeper into Jon and Liz this week and it definitely seems like in his relationship with Liz, she’s the dominant force. Does he court that in his relationships, a woman that kind of walks all over him?

The interesting thing is that Jon is a dichotomy. On the one hand, Jon is incredibly strong, he’s very verbal, he’s very capable of standing up for himself, and at the same time he has this dynamic with women where he does not get treated well and gets spoken to in a condescending, hurtful way. I think we all have patterns in our life and typically those patterns come from early childhood and we tend to be drawn to certain types of people to heal our past and he’s a perfect example of that.

What did you make of the situation where she catches him masturbating, or so she thinks?

You’ll see me address this next week in group therapy, I thought that she was incredibly shaming and incredibly critical and mean about it, and I think the real reason why is that she felt sexually rejected. Like, “Wait I’m in the other room, why aren’t you choosing sex with me, why are you doing this by yourself?” So she lashed out at him.

Another big issue this week was Farrah and the sex tape. It made sense to me when Jon said he thought she did the tape to change her brand, and now it’s blowing up in her face. What do you think of that assessment?

I don’t think that’s the case. I think that people who feel good about themselves make good, self-affirming choices, and people who don’t, make choices that are self-destructive and harmful. I think this was one of those destructive and harmful choices in her life. I’ll just say this: There’s more to be revealed in coming episodes. the tension around the sex tape continues to build and there is a breakthrough moment coming.

I think that it is very hard for anyone to understand the repercussions of making a tape like that, whether you’re a public figure or not, and the trickle down effect that it has in your relationships, your sex life, and other people’s perceptions are of you, and I think we’re seeing those repercussions with Farrah. It’s sad and it’s unfortunate.