Basketball Wives LA Episode 2 Recap: Spilling Tea Party

Draya is catching up Malaysia on all the drama from Jackie’s planning meeting for her LGBT event. With the new cast members joining the festivities, the pots were stirred. Ladies were Googled, ladies were name-called. It’s only episode 2 of the season and the wives are already at odds. 

Draya fills Malaysia in on the new girls (“Jackie’s friends”) and can’t seem to remember Brittish’s name — perhaps when Brittish so eloquently asked her if she was a ho she chose to forget it. “That Brittish-name just don’t roll off my tongue. I just remember her as the chubby girl.”

Malaysia seems pleased that she missed the drama, citing that mother hen Jackie is always cooking something up. She “always got something in her big-ass purse.” Then Draya spills that new friend Ariane came to her with some old news about the father of her children, DeShawn Stevenson and how she felt that Draya embellished the relationship that they had all those years ago. Draya and Malaysia end their kiki with a mocking, “So Jackie got a posse now!”

Newbie Sundy confides in Jackie that she bit her tongue when it came to dealing Brandi at the meeting of the wives. Brandi was asking about the gossip she had read online about the “Twitter-penis-photo” situation with Sundy’s daughter, Deja. You see, Sundy doesn’t understand why anyone’s curiosity would be peaked about this hullabaloo.

“Don’t look me up on Google,” she proclaims.

First Jackie…

But then it’s Sundy, serving some shade when Jackie asks what her first impression was of Draya. You see, Sundy says that wasn’t her first impression of Miss D. She met Draya a few years back when Draya was going by the name of “Miami” in a Philly strip club and “crawling on all fours, begging for tips!”

Then Sundy.

Jackie is shocked. She can’t believe this because Draya told her she doesn’t dance. (Check out Draya on Wendy Williams a few years back being open about her past.)

“That’s a flat out blatant lie,” Sundy fires back.

Meanwhile back at home life, Brandi and her husband, Jason Maxiell are dealing with some fertility issues. As a result of chemotherapy, the Maxiells are having some trouble conceiving a second baby.

The Maxiells get hopeful news.

On a visit to the oncologist for clearance to proceed with in vitro, Brandi says she wants a baby boy but adorably Jason says he’d be happy with a baby girl so he can spoil her rotten and teach her things like changing the oil in a pickup truck.

“You know how to change oil?” Jason asks Brandi, “I do, actually,” she retorts. “You do not. You a liar!”

The doctor is optimistic that the couple could conceive and sends them on their way to IVF doctor.

Now it’s back to planning Jackie’s ambiguous LGBT event: part deux with Malaysia joining Jackie, Ariane and Brandi in scouting a location. Jackie is expecting a “gob” of people so the ladies take a look around and divvy up roles.

She knows what dating is.

In between talking who has the more refined pallet, Malaysia asks Ariane what the beef was with Draya when they met. Ariane explains that she and Draya “have different interpretations of what dating is, maybe.”

Malaysia is quick to throw some side-eye, “I doubt that. She knows what dating is.” She continues, “whether it was 2 days, 3 days, 4 days, a year — they have pictures. She was definitely with him.” Ariane reveals that maybe her feelings are still so fresh because she and DeShawn are still kinda complicated. Jackie reigns all the chatter in to ask if these women are going to be able to put aside their differences for her event. “We grown ass women,” Brandi grumbles. HA.

Brittish contemplating Brandi’s makeover.

Brittish and Jackie go shopping and the conversation soon moved (by Jackie) to Brandi and her altercation with Sundy. Now, we already know that this is going to start Brittish off, who says, “if you come to a knife fight, Imma bring a gun.” Whew. Jackie describes Brittish as a firecracker an “atom bomb.” And Brittish waxes on about how she’d like to give Brandi a makeover.

Brittish wants to give the girls some culture.

Calling out her weave, her french tips and her blue eyeliner. Brittish says, “Everything she does is from the 90s.” British tells Jackie that she is going to try over with Brandi and all the girls and host a Turkish tea party. You see, Brittish has traveled a lot with her fiancé, Lorenzo Gordon and wants to give the girls a taste of Turkey – like tea and baklava. She likens her time abroad to what some of the other wives may have experienced in their travels to say…Detroit.

Draya and Jackie go for a walk and talk about the new girls.

“I don’t even like new friends. I don’t like new nothing except new money and new shoes.” Draya says she’s just going to just sit on the sidelines and watch the new ladies crash and burn.

Draya talks about how the women who are actually married get along a little better and that she wants to be someone’s wife someday soon. She opens up about her relationship with Orlando. Jackie who seems surprised to hear how in love Draya and Orlando say they are.

“I’m definitely a new Draya. I just feel like a grownup now. My skirts are longer. I’m wearing panties. It’s a change. It feels good.”

Draya in her Indian-looking-Moroccanish garb.

The main event is Brittish’s Turkish Tea Party. It’s a Mediterranean dress code which since Draya is smart we know is Indian-looking-Moroccanish-no-no-Mediterranean-is-like-Greece. The ladies arrive for the fabulous cultural experience and everyone seems a little disappointed. Jackie wants to know where the camels and the live music are. Draya wants to know where the snake-charmer is. Some of the other ladies want to know where the rest of Draya’s outfit is.

Sundy checking out Draya’s Mediterranean look.

Hostess Brittish is pissed when Brandi and Malaysia don’t really acknowledge her when they enter but she grits her teeth and takes it in stride. She and Draya put the “Are you a ho?” situation behind them, sorta. But things get started soon when the whole Google-who/Google-what situation comes up. Brandi tries to put a pin in it insisting to Sundy she was not stalking her.

Don’t Google me!

“If you not gonna be the first then I’m gonna be the first to admit I Google so whatever. Google me, bitch.”

“Why did you Google me?” Sundy continues to scream.

Jackie sits in between the two screaming about search engine. Brittish joins in to say that she just knew Brandi was the kinda bitch she wasn’t going to like and that her I’m so “ooh-la-la” attitude is tired. Sundy tries to diffuse the tension by suggesting she and Brandi walk away to have words. Brittish continues to run her mouth and she and Brandi are yelling. Brittish’s heels come off.

“Everybody, get this bitch outta my house!”

You rent this motherf*cka!

“This isn’t your house, you rent this motherf—er.” Something about how Brandi got a flat booty and the tea is spilled alllllll over. Exit Brandi and Malaysia.

Sundy is done.

—Damian Bellino