We’re Certain That No One Asked For These Band Reunion Tours

Seriously, though. Who asked for this?

When I heard two years ago that Danity Kane was reuniting, my mind underwent a “Show Stopper” twerk session. But after watching videos of their live performances from the reunion tour, hearing about all the drama with D. Woods, and realizing “Show Stopper” was never all that to begin with, I started thinking: “Who’s idea was this?”

Every band will inevitably experience some form of a breakup. Some will reconvene later in life, and a portion of those who do do it because their fans want them to. On the other hand, a reunion show that no one anticipated, asked for, or even wanted, could either be wildly successful — Adam Lambert touring with Queen, for example — or a complete flop — cheers to you, Creed. It’s kind of like dating Chris Brown. You could find out he’s a changed man, or you could find out he’s been hiding a baby from you for 10 months.

From Danity Kane to The Jackson 5 minus Michael, here are six reunion shows that no one asked for.

  • Danity Kane

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    Again, who let this happen? Don’t get me wrong: I loved Danity Kane just as much as the next girl rooting for a hot band of females to storm the music scene by way of struts and hair flips. But the ladies of Danity Kane were a hot mess, and only proved themselves more so when Aubrey O’Day, Shannon Bex, Dawn Richard, and Aundrea Fimbres reunited without D. Woods in 2013 for a tour. The foursome was more concerned with getting their dance moves out than hitting the notes, let alone remembering the words to their own songs.

  • New Kids on the Block

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    Watching grown men reunite with their former boy band mates to release two new albums and sing and dance in shiny outfits fourteen years after their prime is both a dream come true and an uncomfortable occurrence. Such was the case with New Kids on the Block, who doesn’t need you to ask them to reunite. They will anyway.

  • Creed

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    Creed once topped a Rolling Stone readers’ poll of the worst bands of the nineties. Their’s is a band so hated, it’s a wonder they reunited in 2009 for a tour. Ticket sales for one show in particular in Birmingham were so low, they were discounted to 75 cents.

  • The Doors of the 21st Century

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    The Doors of the 21st Century, a.k.a. Ray Manzarek and Robby Krieger of The Doors, toured in 2011, 40 years after the death of Jim Morrison. The tour was successful for the duo, but it pissed off Doors original drummer John Densmore, who expressed his discontent with Manzarek and Krieger’s use of The Doors in their touring name. A two-year legal battle by Densmore and Manzarek-Krieger led to the duo changing their name to D21C and, eventually, Riders on the Storm, but was all the trouble truly worth it just to revive one half of the band?

  • The Jackson Four (a.k.a. The Jackson Five minus Michael)

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    The Jackson Five hadn’t ever performed without Michael, according to Marlon Jackson in the above interview. Yet the four surviving brothers got together for a Unity Tour three years after Michael’s death. Performances “treaded carefully between respect and exploitation,” and while the brothers generally received positive reviews, their decision to tour felt less like granting fans’ wishes to see them reunite and more like familial healing. Or a cash grab…?

  • Queen and Adam Lambert

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    No one asked for this, and yet, it was spectacular. It only made sense that Adam Lambert, who famously sang “Bohemian Rhapsody” in his American Idol audition, would pair up with the surviving band members to perform at the 2011 MTV Video Music Awards and proceed to tour with them — twice.

1/2 Cartoon, 1/2 Beyhive.
@hernameislex