Jon Hamm and His Huge Peepee Are Back on the Market

More excited about the latter, tbh.

After a long, cold 18 years, Jon Hamm and his ginormous member can freely prance around and penetrate whatever or whomever they would like. Hamm and longtime lover Jennifer Westfeldt officially called it quits, which means you finally have your shot. You can act like you’re sad because a Hollywood relationship lasting more than 35 seconds is as likely as Tyga refraining from being shady. Truly devastating to see them split. But we all know the real reason you’re crying streams and rivers of happiness rn.

Is it perhaps because this sexy fox may just show up on your doorstep, DTF tonight?

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Or THIS right here: the mad man more famous than its owner who’s actually available to enter you now?

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That’s what I thought. Now discuss, rejoice, and do some kegels.

Pizza is bae. And yes, I still say bae.
@taylorferber