Let’s get one thing straight before we go any further—we love Sam Smith. Always have. His voice is like the sound of angels giggling while being tickled by swan feathers. He is a supremely talented showman, eloquent songwriter, and an all-around swell guy. That being said, we couldn’t help but feel disappointed when we learned that he’s singing the theme for the upcoming Bond film, Spectre.
This is one of the highlights of my career. I am honoured to finally announce that I will be singing the next Bond theme song.
— SAM SMITH (@samsmithworld) September 8, 2015
We’re sure “Writing’s On The Wall” will sound (and sell) just fine, but what about poor Lana Del Rey? The Queen of Melancholic Drowsy-Pop has been training for her shot at crooning for the spy franchise since day one. We’ve already noted that all of her songs sound like Bond themes on on quaaludes. Why not just give her the real thing? Then we’d have a killer Bond theme, and maybe Lana would finally move on to a new sound.
Her washed-out music videos —filled with exotic locals, classic cars, (ultra)violence, and star-crossed lovers— possess a doomy moody cinematic quality that would be totally at home in an old school 007 epic. Plus she’s the spitting image of Bond girls from the days of yore with her bouffant hair and smokey eye makeup. Just today she dropped a trailer for her upcoming Honeymoon album, as if a giant middle finger to the folks at Eon Productions who passed her over. “Fine, I’ll make my OWN damn Bond movie!”
Poor Lana. This really should have been her chance to shine like her musical heroine Nancy Sinatra, who delivered one of the most stunning Bond themes ever with 1967’s “You Only Live Twice.” Lana Del Rey always sounds pretty bummed out, but at least now she has a reason. Better luck next time.