The Hair Metal 100: Ranking the ’80s Greatest Glam Bands, Part 1

Counting down from #100 to #81, one killer riff and thrilling coif at a time.

Hair metal, glam metal, poodle metal, sleaze metal, mall metal… call the 1980s-based phenomenon anything you think fits it best, but don’t call its musicians late for a party. And most definitely do not call it false metal.

Because just as one can inherently recognize that a Chihuahua, a pitbull, and a Great Dane are all somehow all dogs, one can also hear Black Sabbath, Pig Destroyer, and Poison and just somehow understand—yes, that, too, is heavy metal.

Of course, come the ’80s, it took a special breed of practitioners of music’s darkest and most outrageous genre to properly alchemize metal and pop into the preeminent commercial hard rock of its decade.

The Hair Metal 100 salutes these dolled-up, decadent, occasionally even diabolical artists with a countdown to humanity’s single most definitive mousse-maned riff-slingers.

Stuff yourself into the nearest spandex now and join us for a look at the first twenty hair-ifying honorees, from #100 to #81. Come back tomorrow for the next twenty. Until then, keep your hair high as possible above the ground, and keep reaching for guitars.


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