The Best Death, Worst Casual Racism, and Other Scream Queens Awards for “Chainsaw” (Season 1, Episode 3)

These are the trophies everyone is dying to get their hands on.

The third episode of Scream Queens, God Ryan Murphy’s greatest invention, aired last night. Like the 90-minute series premiere, this episode (titled “Chainsaw”) was chock-full of campy deaths, over-the-top ensembles, and gloriously sassy dialogue that makes “Surprise, bitch!” sound like Siri. It was deliciously inappropriate, and we loved every second of it.

To properly recognize the genius that is every second of this show, VH1 has created the Scream Queens Awards! Each week, we’ll note the craziest moments in the latest SQ episode…without giving too much away—ya know, just enough to wet your whistle. We want to know what you thought of the episode, too, so sound off in the comments. Let’s get started, idiot hookers.

  • Best Scream

    Stuck-in-the-’90s sorority chief Gigi (Nasim Pedrad) is asleep on the Kappa living room couch when the Red Devil comes in, clenching a chainsaw and out for blood. As if on cue, Gigi lets out a wail that could shatter glass. Iconic.

  • Bitchiest Comment

    Fox

    “There is something so depressing about a poor person walking around in couture.” —Chanel (Emma Roberts)

  • Most Outrageous Casual Racism or Homophobia

    Fox

    When Chanel #3 (Billie Lourd) thinks Sam (also known as “Predatory Lez,” played by Jeanna Han) is hitting on her, she quips, “I heard munching box is what killed Michael Douglas.” (Just let your head wrap around that for a second.)

  • Best Death

    In light of the Red Devil wreaking havoc and decapitating random sorority girls, Dean Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis) announces the new Wallace University mascot is a benevolent, jolly soft-serve ice cream cone named Coney. But the RD isn’t too happy about that, so what does it do? Take its chainsaw and decapitate the mascot (with the student inside of it). So much blood. So much polyester.

  • Douchiest Chad Radwell Comment

    Fox

    When Chanel asks Chad (Glen Powell) how he’s coping with Boone’s (Nick Jonas) death, he says, “My best friend in the world, who used to compliment me all the time, was murdered. So, news flash: I’m sad.” We also learn Chad had affairs with all of Chanel’s minions and wrote, “I love porking you so much” in a letter to Chanel #2 (Ariana Grande). Classy.

  • Most Badass Dean Munsch Moment

    Fox

    Pissed off Gigi is thirsty for Grace’s DILFy father Wes (Oliver Hudson), Empress Munsch lays down the law. “I call dibs,” she says definitively after telling Gigi to back the hell off. (It’s funny, because Wes thinks Munsch is crazy.)

  • Creepiest Hester Quote

    Fox

    Chanel gives the crazy, death-obsessed Hester (Lea Michele) a glitzy makeover—yup, that means ditching the neck brace. She emerges as the newly-appointed Chanel #6 and says proudly, “Chanel says I can now hold her hair back on purge nights!” Crying.

  • Most Slay-worthy Fashion Moment

    Fox

    When Hester reveals her brand new look—sans neck brace—and serves copious Rachel Berry feels. (Oh! And Chanel looks on point, as per usual.)

  • Most Likely to Be the Killer (Right Now)

    Fox

    Chanel #3, hands down. This episode reveals many of the characters’ motives for being the Red Devil, but Chanel #3’s is the most suspect. Worried people will think she is the Red Devil, Chanel #3 asks Sam to be her permanent alibi. The earmuff-wearing princess also drops a crazy (but hysterical) bomb: Charles Manson—yes, as in the deranged cult leader—is her father. Talk about murderous genes!

  • Biggest OMFG Secret

    Fox

    Ready to avenge Boone, the Dickie Dollar Scholars—clad in all white with Backstreet Boys background music—pick a fight with the Red Devil. But we find out there is not just one killer, but two (at least). The Red Devil(s) end up slaughtering one of the frat boys by chopping off his arms. Surprise, surprise!