Ariana Grande is the latest victim of Perez Hilton’s “Perez Toons” in an animated video titled “Ariana’s Blog.” A play on the singer’s YouTube channel, the video finds a purple and pink hoodie-clad Ari talking directly to her fans, who are supposedly about to enter middle school.
Cartoon Ari reveals that she wasn’t the gorgeous, half-ponytail-sporting pop princess she is today when she was in middle school. Instead, she was an ugly duckling with crooked teeth and a chicken foot growing out of her neck, just waiting to blossom into the beauty she is today.
Toon Ari also gives Mean Girls-style advice to her fans on the “right way and wrong way” to respond to hate. For example, when the “pretty, cool girls” diss you in the middle school cafeteria, you “smile and nod and walk away.” And then you quickly run to their houses, vandalize them with spray-painted curse words, and make it back in time for your next class so that no one ever suspects that it was you. That’s how you win, babes. Right?
The clip is filled with other psychotic tidbits that play on Ariana’s reputation as a diva who secretly hates her fans. Obviously, Ariana doesn’t really hate her fans. I mean, she calls us bbs all the time and lets us know how much she cares on Twitter, like, every five seconds.
Still, the video is genius. Even her nails are on point. Give it a play below.