We’re knee-deep in October, which means your Friday movie nights with the squad are begging for a horror theme. Here’s the problem, though: Bob hates scary movies and refuses to watch anything but High School Musical on repeat. Welcome to hell.
But we’re problem-solvers at VH1, so we’ve cooked up this handy-dandy list of scaredy cat-approved horror movies. They’re eerie enough to keep you on your toes but tame enough so Bob won’t wet the bed. The perfect balance.
For real, check out these 10 un-scary scary movies. It’s entertainment for the full gang.
A girl has a one-night stand and contracts an STD that is more than just a little discomforting. It’s creepy and pretty disgusting, yes? But genuine pop-out terror? Nope. (Please avoid if you’re squeamish.)
You’ll never want to take drugs (or eat sugar, to be honest) after watching this movie. It’s especially difficult to find who is slaughtering your pals when you’re tripping on shrooms in the woods—which is exactly what happens in this film.
Netflix places this Sy-Fy gem in the horror category, but that’s a bit of a stretch. The film is about a real-life shark-filled tornado. That’s not scary—it’s ridiculous.
Monster Squad (1987)
A group of kids defend their town when the world’s scariest monsters band together for an invasion. It’s cult-like, hilarious and not the least bit terrifying.
American Mary (2013)
What’s a medical student swimming in debt to do? Take a high-paying job performing crazy body modification surgeries, of course. What were you expecting, a coffee shop? (Gore? Yes. Fright? Nah.)
We know you’ve heard of this one. A girl has literal teeth in her vagina and bites off her suitors’ genitalia if they piss her off. It’s weirdly feminist and only scary if you actually think vaginas can have teeth.
The tongue-in-cheek satire that permeates Scream allows it to never reach full-on horror. We’re sure this is a sigh of relief to the person you’re sitting next to who said he/she wouldn’t watch Scream for anything.
Would You Rather (2013)
Brittany Snow plays a bloody, high-stakes version of the popular drinking game “Would You Rather?” There’s a kitschiness to this romp that is a tad off-putting. However, you’ll only feel slightly uneasy by the time the credits roll. And you’ll never play that stupid game again.
Killer Mermaid (2014)
It’s about a mermaid. Who kills. On what planet does this cause more nightmares than LOLs? (Answer: none.)
Filled with gory thrills and, well, general mindfuckery, Saw is the perfect psychosis getaway. Thankfully, the film is more disturbing than genuinely frightening, so scaredy cats can watch with ease.