Let’s All Agree To Stop Doing Acoustic Covers Of Hip Hop Songs

The hipsters must be stopped.

-by Michael Arceneaux

Whenever I am sent an acoustic cover of a rap song, I ask each person the same question: “Do you hate me?” When they say no, I confidently tell them that they’re lying. They have to be. Why else would any person do such a thing?

While I know that such covers have long been a thing, I have never wavered on my biggest complaint: they tend to suck. They are soulless. It’s like taking a succulent piece of chicken and placing it under a faucet of cold water and rinsing out all of the magical flavors that make it such a delightful dish. In some rare occasions, they can work (like a fusion restaurant), but those are the exceptions rather than the rule.

For the most part, they’re not particularly good and grossly unnecessary. Why does anyone need a hipster coffee shop remix of “Trap Queen?”

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