What Exactly Did Lisa Leave Behind on Being Mary Jane?

Put on your black (metaphorically or otherwise) and let’s discuss.

By Michael Arceneaux

On the latest episode of Being Mary Jane, Mary Jane Paul’s longtime friend and occasional adversary, Lisa, decided to speed her trip to the crossroads by way of committing suicide. I’m not here to tell you whether or not that is right or wrong or if Jesus, Mohammad, and Santa are all pissed at her. What I can tell you, though, is how I feel about what all Lisa left behind. So c’mon y’all, put on your black (metaphorically or otherwise) and let’s discuss.

How did you feel when you say Mary Jane delete David’s number finally?

I literally shouted, “It’s about damn time, sis.” David might fine as hell, but we’ve long established that he’s no good for Mary Jane. He’s not even worth the classic Destiny’s Child line, “Only ring your cellie when I’m feeling lonely. When it’s all over, please get up and leave.” So, while I felt bad that Mary Jane ignored David trying to let her know about Lisa’s suicide, I do still value the intention behind it.

I do have one additional thought, though. Did y’all hear Mark Bradley tell Mary Jane, “Let me tell you how I get rid of my trade?” I see after dating that white dude for so long, Mark hit up Bulldog’s and learned himself some of the gay Black lingo. I see you, not Don Lemon.

Could you blame Mary Jane for still being mean to David?

I am so glad Mary Jane’s mean ass did not fall for David’s attempt to “comfort” her. She was right in that he was trying to comfort himself and his own culpability in hurting Lisa’s feelings. When he said, “It’s not your fault, Mary Jane,” mean ass Mary Jane was quick to turn her neck and hit him with the icy glare. Let that be a lesson to each of us: don’t let people project their nonsense onto you.

Do you think Mary Jane’s mama had a point about killing Lisa?

I vote hell no. I appreciate the show being realistic in its depiction of how people deal with a loved one committing suicide. I do, however, hate when people place someone else’s actions on the shoulders of others. Lisa had many problems. Lisa was not always the best friend to Mary Jane. Mary Jane was not always the best friend to Lisa. However every action has a consequence and Mary Jane was perfectly responsible in her intent to ignore the hell out of Lisa.

She blew her on again, off again boyfriend, folks. I wouldn’t call her back either. I wouldn’t text her back. I wouldn’t like her throwback Thursday picture on Instagram. I wouldn’t retweet her sorry for 2004. None of that.

Lisa’s choices were hers. It’s unfortunate and it’s disheartening, but you can’t put that on Mary Jane. Or David, for that matter.

Don’t you love how Mary Jane’s mama gathers her?

I will say that while I disagree with Mama Mary Jane’s assertion that her daughter bears some responsibility in Lisa’s suicide, I do enjoy her putting Mary Jane in her place. Mary Jane will snap on you and mama is never here for it. The artist formally known as Shug Avery plays a Black mama so well.

Thank you, for calling it like you see it, Mary Jane.

Mary Jane warned Lisa’s no good, child molesting stepfather to not attend the funeral service, but he did anyway. Yes, the pastor said anyone is welcomed in God’s house, but that doesn’t mean Jesus will prevent a sinner from letting the choppa sing inside. Some like to sweep things under the rug — including their own sick, twisted, perversions that should have landed them in jail and a headlock from Olivia Benson. Glad Mary Jane didn’t let it go down like that.

Overall, the eulogy was poignant, but that call out was my favorite part as it was very Love & Hip Hop, Real Housewives reunion.

Where does Mary Jane go from here with David?

In theory, this would be the part where Mary Jane would keep to her word about David getting the hell on considering she no longer has anything left to give him. Realistically, that’s about as likely as President Ben Carson. With that in mind, what does David need to do to win Mary Jane back? Hypnosis is not an option, so work with me here. I assume some genuine commitment, authentic tears reminiscent of old Boyz II Men videos, and Mary Jane’s realization that those two can only put up with each other ‘cause everyone else doesn’t have the time.

Do you think Beyoncé was watching?

I mean, the man playing Lisa’s no good, child molester of a stepdad was portrayed by Richard Lawson, aka Tina Knowles’ new husband. I envision her nustled on a couch made of the finest cumulus clouds, watching her new stepdad’s performance on a TV bigger than Iowa while snacking on vegan chocolate chip cookies. I’m sad I wasn’t invited. I would love to watch Empire with her. I bet that’s when she allows herself Popeye’s.