Pop

Here Is Everything The 2000’s Got Wrong In Music

If we could do it over, we would have never let Mary J. Blige get happy + Tamar Braxton's debut flop.

-by Michael Arceneaux

In terms of music, most speak of the ’90s, ’80s, and the ’70s with great reverence. That is not the case for the 2000’s thus far as many describe the decade as “some ole bulls–t” or some variation of the sentiment. It was a decade of great disruption – hello, illegal downloading – but it was not a total loss. There were some good moments here and there. Hello, Beyoncé’ssolo career. Even so, it feels like decade full of one L after another. Here are my grievances. Feel free to add on.

  • Ciara and Ludacris should have made an album together.

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    Before I go on, do me a solid and stop booing and hissing at me. Hear me out, why don’t you? Recently, I was at the gym dancing inappropriately to Ciara’s “High Price” featuring Ludacris when it hit me that these two have amazing chemistry. See also “Ride” and “Oh.” Ludacris is out here looking like LL Cool J Jr. with Lionel Richie’s face. Meanwhile, Ciara is the Black Kardashian, and no, that’s not a compliment. These two have past their peaks in music, but I do wish they would worked together and become the sweet tea and chicken biscuits version of Ashanti and Ja Rule.

  • We would have protected Britney Spears better.

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    I get emotional when I think about this, but it’s a shame that no one made sure Britney Spears was safe and stretched on the set of the “Outrageous” video with Snoop Dogg. This is when she hurt her knee, which was when her rhythm went missing; when she linked with K-Fed; when the brilliance of Blackout was overshadowed by her seemingly disconnection from planet Earth. God, it hurts just to write about it. I LOVE YOU, BRITNEY.

  • The girl group would not have died.

    With all due respect to Fifth Harmony, not enough people care, though that’s not their fault. Of course, the early 2000’s had a wave of girl groups – well, majorly Destiny’s Child, but you get it – but after that, the girl group became a bit of a relic. As someone who obsessed over SWV, Xscape, En Vogue, Kut Klose, The Spice Girls, and knew of those who worshipped at the altar of TLC and other girl bands, it’s a shame that we collectively let the girl group enter “throwback Thursday” terrain.

    I speak for many when I say the world – and Capitol Records specifically – owes Cherish a huge apology.

  • Tamar Braxton’s first album would have gotten the attention it deserved.

    So, Tamar Braxton doesn’t speak much on Tamar, but as someone who took his older sister’s copy, burned it, and proceeded to wear it out for oh, I don’t, well over a decade, let me just say for the thousandth time that the album was good and because her then label, Dreamworks, was clueless, I had to wait way too long before getting another one from the littlest Braxton.

  • JC Chasez needed a second chance.

    Okay, so his first solo album was not amazing, but he had such a strong voice. I mean, I was feeling his baggy jeans, Tims, and thug appeal. Hold on, I have to finish laughing. God, who let me get away with singing that on Blaque’s “Bring It All To Me.” Focus, Michael. No really, JC had the best voice of *NSYNC – yeah, I said it – so he should’ve been granted one more shot at solo stardom

  • Slim Thug’s solo album, Already Platinum, should have actually gone platinum.

    I am a native Houstonian, so I’m biased, but Slim Thug’s first major label album was impressive, but like most albums released via Star Trak, fell by the wayside. This is unforgivable. The Houston rap scene deserved much more during this era – especially since folks o’ plenty have bitten from it so hard.

  • The soundtrack would not have died.

    I mean, Babyface didn’t put all of that work into the Waiting To Exhale soundtrack for this decade to go and f–k up a good thing. The same goes for the Love Jones soundtrack, the Boomerang soundtrack, The Above The Rim soundtrack, and on and on.

  • Janet Jackson would have never been shunned.

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    I’m going to say this until the end of the time because this should have never happened.

  • The following R&B singers would’ve been given their just due.

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    If you’ve never heard the unreleased Latrelle album Dirty Girl, Wrong Girl, Bad Girl, you have my sincerest condolences. If you did not buy Teedra Moses’ sublime debut, Complex Simplicity, I encourage you to atone. If you did not embrace Yummy Bingham’s magnetic first single, “Come Get It” with Jadakiss, boo and hiss to you. You can add Cherri Dennis’ everything to the list. There are a few Toni Braxton albums that apply here, too, FYI.

  • We would not have let so many female rappers down.

    I’m not talking Missy or Eve, but like Remy Ma and all of the other ones who came along. I don’t remember their names because y’all didn’t help me to. So there.

  • Ja Rule wouldn’t have been sent away so soon.

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    We allowed 50 Cent to vilify Ja Rule for singing off key on records with Ashanti when he turned around and did the same damn thing with Olivia. Ja won’t say that’s messed up, but I’m ready to stand in my truth.

  • It wouldn’t have taken JoJo so long to get free.

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    Direct your hate to Blackground Records.

  • “Work It Out” would have succeeded.

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    Because we all deserved that Beyoncé soul solo album she initially promised.

  • The snap era should have never ended.

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    Fabo forever, yo.

  • Mary J. Blige’s music would’ve never gotten happier.

    I am a terrible person for saying this, but I think we all know MJB was at her best when she was singing like life was that no-good friend she needed to abandon. Of course, she could’ve been happier outside of the studio, but as long as sound like brown liquor and the bad side in song, I would’ve been good for it.