In bizarre Twitter hashtag news, #SnowmanDatingProlems is now trending. Yup. Isn’t the Internet a glorious place?
Someone in the deep, deep Web finally tweeted what millions of people around the world are thinking: It’s difficult lusting after a snowman. (C’mon–you know you’re a thirsty THOT for Frosty!)
And it makes sense: Snowmen look jolly and DTF, but they’re cold to the core. Even worse: You can’t get hot with them, or they go away. Literally. Like, they actually melt into nothing. How are you supposed to get your life when your (snow)man craps melts out before you even reach first base? Answer: You can’t. And it’s devastating.
It just took one brave soul confessing his/her snowmosexual frustration to the world for thousands to follow suit. Below are the funniest–and saddest–grievances people have about their snowman boning issues. But we have a solution, loves: Move to Alaska. That way, snowbae and you will never separate. #TrueLove
That incident in the park where he was caught wearing only a scarf #SnowmanDatingProblems
— blmayne (@blmayne) December 1, 2015
#SnowmanDatingProblems "women tend to think we're huge flakes."
— Julia Jasunas (@JuliaJasunas) December 1, 2015
No long walks on the beach…#SnowmanDatingProblems pic.twitter.com/QMUNVWuYMk
— Claire's (@claires) December 1, 2015
#SnowmanDatingProblems When things start getting hot they start getting soft. pic.twitter.com/H0Jp3TtdY3
— Brandon (@KFPTurtle) December 1, 2015
Cold on the outside, cold on the inside. #SnowmanDatingProblems pic.twitter.com/nstwvinHrM
— Zoosk (@Zoosk) December 1, 2015
"I swear, baby, I never melt this early." #SnowmanDatingProblems
— Kyle (@keud12) December 1, 2015
It won't stay hard. #SnowmanDatingProblems
— Vickie Eisenstein (@VickieIronStone) December 1, 2015
It's After Labor Day And He Has Nothing To Wear But White #SnowmanDatingProblems
— McMannofthepeople (@McMannofthepeop) December 1, 2015
If you melt his heart, there goes the rest of him, too! #SnowmanDatingProblems
— Christine Waiting… (@googlygirl98) December 1, 2015
For The Date She Really Wants To Go To Hot Yoga #SnowmanDatingProblems
— McMannofthepeople (@McMannofthepeop) December 1, 2015
#SnowmanDatingProblems Warm-weather shrinkage
— Dreamweasel (@Dreamweasel) December 1, 2015
The carrot stays erect for more than 4 hours. #SnowmanDatingProblems
— J❂RD❂N (@BadJordon) December 1, 2015
Snow Ball fights #SnowmanDatingProblems pic.twitter.com/QfXkiWPfYC
— joshingstern (@joshingstern) December 1, 2015
#SnowmanDatingProblems He doesn't look like his AVI pic.twitter.com/YgFJEs5jiu
— Charley Kaye (@charley_ck14) December 1, 2015
#SnowmanDatingProblems excessive holiday weight gain pic.twitter.com/h7Vgml59nQ
— Regina Spacola (@gigirules7) December 1, 2015