We’re calling it: Twenty-six-year-old Tiara will win the next season of The Bachelor.
Why are we so confident, you ask? Well, according to Entertainment Weekly, Tiara has a sexy AF job sure to win Bachelor Ben Higgins’ heart 50 times over. She is–wait for it–a chicken enthusiast.
Yes, you read that correctly. EW released a list of the 28 women vying for Ben’s heart, along with their occupations, and next to Tiara’s name is the phrase “chicken enthusiast.” We’re not exactly sure what this means or if it’s even a real job, but we certainly hope it is.
We Googled the term, and it’s actually a thing. The first link that appears is the Los Angeles Urban Chicken Enthusiasts page. Check out this bomb-ass group’s manifesto:
This group is intended to create a community for people who either have chickens or are thinking seriously about getting chickens. You should join if you like the idea of fresh eggs, local, ethical food and enjoy sharing your life with the amazing creatures that hens and roosters are. We also have the most awesome message board under the discussion tab, by joining you get to share your experiences and and ask and hear from others.
In other words, it’s an organization for chicken stans. Does this mean Queen Tiara runs a similar organization in Redmond, Washington (where she calls home)? Is her house covered in chicken memorabilia? Does she host protests and sit-ins at KFC, otherwise known as Satan’s Condo? We hope she’s rolling around in a chicken coup singing Nelly Furtado’s “I’m Like a Bird” as we speak.
Before we get carried away, let’s play devil’s advocate. It’s possible this isn’t her job at all, because two contestants–twins–have the phrase “twin” next to their names, and one has “cowgirl.” Are we suppose to believe the twins make money for literally being twins? Probably not. Plus, former Bachelor contestants have been teased as crazy things like “professional dog walker.” Tiara could easily be, like, a lawyer who just really really loves chickens.
But until proven otherwise, can we pretend she pays her taxes as a certified chicken enthusiast? That’s way more fun than lawyer.