Alright Twitter, you’ve gone too far.
Some troll vegging in his mother’s basement munching on Flaming Hot Cheetos and chugging Mello Yello decided it would be really cute to go full-on Grinch and create the most soul-crushing hashtag to ever exist on Twitter. With cheesy fingers, this urchin typed–while breathing heavily, probably–#RuinAChristmasMovie, along with the first entry. And he/she created a phenomenon. A Yuletide-robbing phenomenon that is coming for your fave, my fave–all the faves. Fave Christmas movies, that is. It’s literally coal personified in less than 140 characters. And I’m pissed.
What is #RuinAChristmasMovie, you ask? It’s simple (and diabolical). Monsters on the Internet are taking names of beloved Christmas movies like Home Alone, Love Actually and A Christmas Vacation and giving them inappropriate names–scary, sexual or sad. Home Alone becomes the Donald Trump-inspired Comb Alone. Love Actually becomes Leave Actually. You get the picture. Isn’t it heart-stomping? Spirit-killing? If you’re not emotionally dead after reading some of these, then you were never alive in the first place.
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Donald Trump has no place in Christmas.
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And neither does FREDDY. EFFING. KRUEGER.
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Stop turning children’s movies into psychological dramas, Internet.
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Charlie Brown is rich, shut the hell up.
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I’ll leave when I’m good and ready, scrub.
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LOL, this one is actually pretty good.
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Annnnd OK, maybe this one, too.
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Get this millennial hocus pocus off my feed.
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Accurate.
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Vroom vroom, betch.
