Definitive Proof Todd Chrisley Is the Wisest Man on Earth

The real king.

The third season finale of Chrisley Knows Best airs tonight on USA Network. If you’re not an avid fan of Earth’s greatest father Todd Chrisley and all his wonderful, biznitchy Todd-isms, then you are not living your best life. Seriously, his perils of wisdom are so catty and on point, you’ll never need to purchase a self-help book again.

Whether you’re worried about your kids, a spouse or good ’ole S-E-X, Todd always knows what piping hot tea to serve. He tells it like it is, but is so gosh darn lovable that you always come back for more. We promise that if you’re not watching Chrisley Knows Best now, you’ll start after reading these 11 wise truth bombs.

  • Rule No.1: Your opinion is the only one that matters.

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    Everyone else can STFU, to be honest.

  • Rule No.2: But you can’t always get what you want.

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    We told you he’s harsh.

  • Rule No.3: It’s important to love yourself.

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    Slay those sweatpants. You look so good.

  • Rule No.4: Always check your outfit before leaving the house.

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    You don’t want to have an, erm, situation.

  • Rule No.5: Be good to your parents.

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    Or, ya know, this can happen.

  • Rule No. 6: Contain your thirst, please.

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    Or at least hide it. We all THOT, but keep it on the DL.

  • Rule No.7: Spend time with family whenever you can.

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    So much lurveee.

  • Rule No.8: Worship that 9 to 5.

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    And the checks that come with it.

  • Rule No.9: Swipe basic behavior to the right.

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    Why would you be stupid over here when you could be smart over there?

  • Rule No.10: Treat yourself.

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    Damn straight you do.

  • And rule No.11 (the most important): Keep it classy.

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    You’re a GD queen, so act like one.