There’s a Sex Toy Site for Jews, and as a Jew, I Don’t Get It

And you get free shipping with orders over $70. Practically a steal.

When I learned there was a shop of sex toys specifically for practicing Jews, I immediately pictured vibrators that were blue and white only with little Stars of David on the packaging. Then, I figured all the toys would be under $10, because let’s be real, Jews love themselves a good bargain. But the site, Better2Gether, has neither, and unless you can visit the site on all days excluding Shabbat, I’m all out of ideas as to why this site of sex toys is different from any other out there.

Rabbi Natan Alexander, the brains behind the “ultra-Orthodox Jewish” operation, claims the site has an inviting and safe environment for couples to explore their sexuality, specifically female masturbation. “I’m trying to just offer what people want, but in a beautiful, loving way,” he says. I guess what makes Better2Gether semi-unique is that it offers free advice and articles on sex to open up the conversation about masturbation, but isn’t that what Google is for? And why does this advice speak to “ultra-Orthodox Jewish” couples only? Will it sound like gibberish to me since I also celebrate Christmas?

Another selling point is that the items are shown without nudity or “suggestive imagery” or language, but I don’t remember being ambushed by porn the last time I was sex toy cyber browsing.

Here’s a look at the selection:


If these don’t scream: “I don’t eat meat with cheese and didn’t know women masturbate,” then I don’t know what does.

BRB, confused.

Pizza is bae. And yes, I still say bae.