Yes, Rihanna’s Album Release Was Anti-Climactic

But hear us out.

If you’re a Rihanna fan, this probably happened to you last night: Deep in a drooling REM cycle snooze, your iPhone started ringing. It was midnight. You woke up in a cold sweat. Did someone die? Nope. “Your girl RiRi finally dropped Anti,” your annoying co-worker who sort of smells named Jan messaged you. You inaudibly screeched and raced to your computer, knocking it over in the process. You powered it up, which took six years. When you finally hit the Internet, you experienced a soul-crushing blow: It’s only available on Tidal. You have no subscription and a grand total of -$.06 in your checking account.

Not only that, but you learned the sloppy THOTs at Tidal accidentally leaked the album beforehand. Plus, “Bitch Better Have My Money,” “American Oxygen” and “FourFiveSeconds” are nowhere to be found on the track list. Furthermore, this ish isn’t trending on Twitter! Are you being Punk’d? Where’s Ashton Kutcher?

You go back to bed at 4 a.m. on edge. Ironically, all of this feels anti-climactic. What gives, Rihanna? This was supposed to be the highlight of your year, so why did it end up worse than your seventh birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese when someone literally puked on you?

Before you write a formal resignation to the Navy, hear us out. Yes, RiRi’s album release could’ve been a little (read: a lot) smoother, but cut her some slack. It all might seem discouraging now, but it will get better (bitch). Here’s why:

  • The Tidal-only release is screwing Rihanna over.

    Here’s the tea: You may love Rihanna, but if you don’t have the coins to snag a Tidal subscription, you can’t hear her album yet. Because many of her fans are early 20-somethings (broke), they probably haven’t heard the record and can’t contribute to the buzz, on social media or otherwise. We’re confident when Anti is available to everyone, RiRi’s bbs will be talking that talk. (Eh?!)

  • Everything lost momentum.

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    Rihanna put out three singles–“FourFiveSeconds,” “BBHMM” and “American Oxygen”–within four months of each other in 2015 with the expectation an album would drop shortly after. Fans received several possible album release dates, but the year came and went with goose eggs. And the worst part? Rihanna even announced the album was finished but didn’t release it. Then, randomly, she unveiled a single (“Work” with Drake) and the new album yesterday. Fans have been waiting lethargically for more than year, which would’ve been excusable had she made Anti available to everyone. Because she gave fans another roadblock, the whole affair became frustrating. Is this even worth it? (Answer: Yes, it is. You’re just blinded by the f–ckery that is this era.)

  • If you have heard the album, you might be disappointed in the lack of “hits.”

    Roc Nation

    Where is the “We Found Love?” The “Only Girl in the World?” Heck, where is the “BBHMM?” Anti is very much an exploration of trippy, minimalist sonics. It’s also very mid-tempo, which discourages fans who were pumped for the next RiRi club ~*banger*~. Nothing on the record might instantly gratify you, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a hit here. It’s too early to determine what will resonate in your ear drums…or the dance floors. Let this one marinate for a bit.

  • And let’s be real: Kanye West and Wiz Khalifa’s nonsense is overshadowing Anti.

    People still can’t get over the damn fight that broke out yesterday on Twitter between these dudes (and Amber Rose, who said something about fingers). The only thing that could possibly pull focus away from West’s antics is Jesus himself descending from a cloud and smoking a bong. Anti is good, but it’s no pothead Christ. Let this ’Ye dust settle; when it does, RiRi will come full throttle for all the faves.