The Pettiest Moments of 2016 (So Far)

Play nice, kids.

It’s been a petty few weeks.

The ball dropped, resolutions were made, knives were sharpened and guns were blazin’. We’re only one month into the promise of 2016, and already, it’s promising to be one catty year. No spoilers, but if you caught that little meeting Rich and Cisco set up with MariahLynn on Love & Hip Hop New York last night, you know what we mean.

But the petty BS we’ve seen this year started long–four whole weeks long–before that exchange we witnessed last night. Nicki Minaj’s battle with Farrah Abraham burnt Twitter to the ground, Fetty Wap flopped the interview on his alleged baby mama and Amina Buddafly and Tara Wallace… well, yeah. Get your popcorn and brace yourselves for the most ridiculous petty moments grown adults have shared just one month into 2016.

  • Kanye West disses Amber Rose’s child and stripping past, so she tells us all about his love of butt play.

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    Yup. Because Amber’s ex Wiz Khalifa is another one of us mere peasants who doesn’t understand ’Ye’s Jesus-like *creative process*, he, his pants and his child were crucified on Twitter by Yeezy himself. Wiz questioned Kanye’s decision to change his upcoming album name from SWISH to WAVES, and he might as well knocked on the devil’s door for a dance or two. Kanye relentlessly tweeted things like: “You wouldn’t have a child if it wasn’t for me,” “You own waves???? I own your child!!!!” and “You let a stripper trap you,” in regard to Amber and their two-year-old son, Sebastian. Luckily, ’Ye’s ex Miss Amber stepped in with one tweet that shut him, the Internet and our plans for the rest of that day down: “Awww @kanyewest are u mad I’m not around to play in ur asshole anymore? #FingersInTheBootyAssBitch.” Equally as brilliant as it was petty. Glorious.

  • Fetty Wap bashes the (potential) mother of his child, alludes to abortion and Twitter rant rightfully ensues.

    The Shade Room

    Last month, former Love and Hip Hop star Masika Kalysha took to Instagram to tell us she was six months pregnant, only to get questionable tweets from the baby daddy at hand, Fetty Wap. In true classy form, the rapper attempted “explaining” the situation, saying: “I don’t really know how to explain that s—. She knew what she was doing. We talked about certain s— that was supposed to happen.” This clearly didn’t prompt a warm welcome from Masika, who responded with seven back-to-back tweets. Here are the highlights: “That bitch was better of keeping his mouth shut. No real man speaks negative about the woman he got pregnant on purpose against her will…” and “I’ve kept quiet… For 1 reason. To protect my child… I would never want my child to be able to Google mommy speaking negative about ’daddy.'” Even though we’ve pledged our allegiance at this point, Masika further explained herself and the “committed relationship” she was in with Fetty when she got pregnant, on her personal blog. Will Fetty not be at PTA meetings, then?…

  • And then there’s the time Tara Wallace accused Amina Buddafly of marrying Peter Gunz to get her citizenship…

    Remember when Admina Buddafly and Tara Wallace both got pregnant by Peter Gunz at the same time on Love and Hip Hop? Same. After Amina said her piece and explained why she went through with an abortion, Tara not only revealed her big (pun intended) news, but gloated with these glittery prego pics. The episode wasn’t even finished airing before the two went head-to-head in a Twitter battle. Amina tweeted: “Who the hell is 18 weeks pregnant and doesn’t know it??…….. Only a f—ing liar.” In came Tara with the ol’ “There is no greater liar than 1 pretending 2b married out of love! Convincing urself ur marriage is real and not 1 for CITIZENSHIP!” tweet. Amina continued to claim he “acted like a single man” when they married to only get taunted by Tara in return. But all is fair in love and Twitter war, amiright?

  • Nicki Minaj and Farrah Abraham throw virtual knives with their words over Farrah’s mom.

    Nicki Minaj disliked the way she saw Farrah Abraham treat her mom on MTV’s recent Teen Mom OG premiere. She disliked it so much, she wrote: “Farrah is a c–t to her mother,” on Twitter. Farrah was not happy. Like any other mature adult interaction, they began to full-on brawl so the whole world could watch. “Cause your a parent right? Your videos look like porn,” Farrah responded. “Horrible good luck being negative #Godbless busy making TV.” That prompted Nicki to respond: “Your mother didn’t open her legs and have that child. Be happy she’s helping! Stop talking to her like that on tv u lil c–t.” Oh, and: “In your case #BigC–T.” And this: “Instead of dragging your mother, learn the difference between ’you’re’ & ’your’, ding bat.” Farrah’s last words (for the time being) were: “To be clear my mom doesn’t help me I help her. I love & care for my mom. Stop disgusting talk @NICKIMINAJ.” Nicki then reinvented shade when she ceased to respond, and retweeted users hating on Farrah instead. Farrah then became your worst petty middle school girl nightmare when she posted snapshots of texts with her mom and a snapchat of her six-year-old daughter saying “Nicki Minaj is a total loser.” *Vigorous head-shaking session in progress*

  • 50 Cent and Meek Mill settle their differences the way real men do: via Instagram.

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    We thought Meek Mill was perhaps turning over a new leaf this year, beefing with 50 Cent instead of Drake. JK, though, because #DissTracks. Anyway, Meek’s track “Gave Em Hope” off his new EP 4/4 take shots at 50, saying: “You tried to go ’Money’ May with that paper/But now you in debt cause you never was that.” In addition to this gem, 50 posted this response: “LMAO Hey s–t head, your career is over already.you better focus on getting Nikki pregnant so you can at least get child support girl. new meek emoji lol,.” Meek’s response rant was longer than the Bible. 50 then pulled a Nicki and just reposted memes and comments from fellow users dissing Meek. Manly, indeed.

  • Martin Shkreli

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    The drug entrepreneur who notoriously increased the price of Daraprim from $13.50 to $750 is currently facing charges of stealing stock from a biotech company to settle debts. During his recent Congressional trial, Shkreli refused to answer any of the questions directed at him and, instead, plead the Fifth Amendment. “I intend to follow the advice of counsel, not yours,” Shkreli childishly told one of the people questioning him. “Hard to accept that these imbeciles represent the people in our government,” he later tweeted, furthering cementing his status as a petty middle schooler. SMH.

Only time will tell how many more celebs will join this petty party over the next 11 months, but you know we’ll be waiting to sip that tea like…

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@taylorferber