Let’s Stop Trying to Predict When Beyonce’s Gonna Drop Her Next Album

I have no idea when Beyoncé's album will arrive—and neither do you. Stop the countdown.

-By Michael Arceneaux

After successfully securing tickets to Beyoncé’s next world tour (if you’re still on the hunt, I am lifting you in prayer), the next stage of Beyseason has commenced: obsessive, compulsive speculation on when her new album will drop. This is not as stressful as the virtual knife fight that is the Beyoncé concert ticket process, but it is an anxiety-rich endeavor all the same.

There have been teases from suspected contributors, like producer Detail, that we will hear new music “soon.” Likewise, we have recently seen tweets from fan accounts such as these: “EXCLUSIVE: Album movie, alternate ‘Formation’ video edit, and an album that will overwhelm you just listening to it! Just wait on it!”

How do you top a “visual album?” Apparently, by releasing this generation’s equivalent of Moonwalker. That is, if this proves to be true. This account was right about the tour, so someone is whispering sweet nothings into their DMs and emails.

I have no idea when Beyoncé will drop her sixth studio album. Neither do you. She could release it by the end of this sentence. She might wait literally until days, weeks, or hours before the “Formation” tour begins. She might not deliver it until Jesus can confirm that he’ll directly hand over the flash drive containing her next body of work to Apple himself.

Whatever the case, exactly when we’ll get #B6 is a mystery and will very likely stay that way. Remember what happened when she released “Bow Down/I Been On”? Everyone was excited about the new music and then I kept refreshing iTunes and didn’t nobody’s link to purchase a new album. Yeah, we got “Standing On The Sun,” which was great, but what track is that on Beyoncé again?

Do not try to do an album countdown. Do not stress your friends and fellow stans out trying to predict a release date. I imagine it will come out before the tour, but again, who knows? I am guilty of doing this in the past—all of 2013 to be exact—and it ultimately proved to be a waste of energy. I know Beyoncé loves me, but she does not care about my feelings when it comes to waiting around for that new-new. She doesn’t care about yours either.

Beyoncé would drop a new album while I’m buying brown liquor at my tour date before the show starts. And what would I do in response? Shut my happy ass and buy it instantly. She has the power, not us. I love Beyoncé more than many blood relatives, but we have to learn from her, Rihanna, Frank Ocean and Kanye West.

Don’t drive yourself insane trying to play Inspector Gadget on a release date. Just wait until she tells you something. Keep your blood pressure low.

But if we WERE to speculate, April 4th might not be a bad guess. Not only is it the 4th day of the 4th month, but it’s her 8th wedding anniversary with Jay (4+4=8). If you don’t know about Bey’s obsession with the number 4, get educated with the video below!