-By Benjamin H. Smith
Well Walking Dead fans, like the sign said at the beginning of the episode, “You Are Alive.” You survived the most hair-raising finale in the series’ history. What we know is Rick and his group of Survivors have been summarily beaten, both mentally and physically, by The Saviors, led by the worst bad guy since the death of The Governor. Yes, it’s the Mayor of Pee Pee Pants City himself, the man with the barbed wire covered baseball bat, the one and only nasty and nefarious Negen. And yet, we still don’t know who he killed. Damn. Anyhow, if you’re still recovering from last night’s episode, let’s review the winners and losers from The Walking Dead season 6 finale and ruminate about them for the next 6 months before the show returns and we finally find out who died.
At the end of last season he was one of the most hated characters on the show; a delusional coward, bad mouthing Rick and The Survivors, almost getting them kicked out of Alexandria. Now he is the machine gun toting killer priest, entrusted to protect Rick’s daughter Judith by any means necessary. Man, talk about a reversal of fortune.
This Freaking Guy
He didn’t have a name but he was the perfect hype up man for Negan’s entrance, (“Let’s meet the man!”) unnervingly calm and totally menacing. When Rick’s group is finally surrounded, his line “Good. You made it. Welcome to where you’re going” is blood chilling. Gamers of course know him as the voice of Grand Theft Auto V badass Trevor Philips, actor Steven Ogg. Here’s hoping he plays a prominent role in TWD Season 7.
Carol and Morgan
Sure, she’s still going through her existential crisis and OUCH!, those gun shots must have really hurt. But at least she’s got a new bestie in Morgan. And hey, Morgan got his groove back—if by groove we mean being able to kill at will. Anyhow, who were those dudes that saved them? Oh well, guess we have to wait until next season to find out.
NegenEmbedded from www.youtube.com.
“Pissing our pants yet? Boy do I have a feeling we’re getting close. Yep, it’s gonna be pee pee pants city here real soon.” And with that, Jeffrey Dean Morgan just made one of the greatest entrances in television history. Negen is truly the Man You Love to Hate in The Walking Dead universe, and it seems like right now he is the top dog.
Seriously, whenever the crew gets in an RV, bad sh-t happens. They break down, walkers get inside, they’re slow and easy to attack, and whatever you do, don’t give Eugene the keys. Last night’s episode was like the worst family daytrip ever. Wherever they went, Saviors were sure to follow. And hey, if you’re trying to sneak around, it’s hard to hide a 10 ton house on wheels.
How does the teenage girl who endured being alone in the zombie apocalypse fall for the old, “Check the closet” trick? Just survive somehow being locked in a broom closet until the group gets back from getting hosed by The Saviors.
Wait, are you telling me, they cut off some of Michonne’s dreads and glued them to a walker’s head? DAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMNNNNNN!!!!!! Now, that is cold, however, they should know better than to mess with a girl’s hair. You know she’s gonna get payback sooner or later.
The Walking Dead Fans
You knew someone big was going to die, you know it was going to be brutal, but what you didn’t count on was having to wait another 6 months to find out who died. Oh well, that gives you plenty of time to theorize and obsess over who it was that got clobbered by Negen’s bat, Lucille. But admit it, being tortured by the show – having your favorite characters killed off, knowing that any peace will be short-lived – is kind of why you love it, isn’t it?
Rick Grimes and The Survivors
You know, the thing about being a tough guy is there’s always someone tougher. And in Negen, it looks like Rick has met his match. Sure, he’s had some close calls before, but never has he been punked out as hard as he was last night. Dude looked like he was about to cry. The entire Saviors game of cat and mouse totally got into Rick’s head, and in the end defeat was almost a relief. Whatever happens next season, Rick will have a long journey back before he can start making moves to reclaim his place on the top of the Zombie Apocalypse scrap heap.