A People’s Glossary of DJ Khaled’s Snapchat

LIOOON!!!

-By Claire Downs

Unless you’ve been living under a rock (or crushed by the weight of your own iPhone 6 Plus), you know that living meme, DJ Khaled, is crushing it on SnapChat. From documenting his showers, to a jetski trip that got him lost at sea the mogul, producer, and Ciroc Apple Vodka spokesrapper has created his own vast vocabulary that is making its way into popular lingo.

Becoming a scholar of the Khaledian language isn’t easy. Many of Khaled’s Snap stories are nearly ten whole minutes long. At that length, they’re basically the Dr. Zhivago of Snapchat stories – long, too many characters, and with full interludes of just music.

Though his Snaps are sometimes just silly and lavish, Khaled genuinely seems like a good dude, interested in sharing his positive energy and motivational mantras with his fans and anybody who will listen.

So before the summer interns take over your office shouting “bless up!” and “major key!” just because Jo-Anne brought bagels, it’s time to study up. I present a glossary of DJ Khaled’s most used terms so you too can stop using last years’ “YASS QUEEN” and start declaring “LION!”

?Major Key?

[emphasis on MAJOR]

This is the cornerstone of DJ Khaled’s catchphrases, and is the most common of his catchphrases. Usually accompanied by the ? key emoji (not to be confused with the ? skeleton key emoji, because skeletons are scary!), it’s used to signify something that will bring success to one’s life, as defined exclusively by Khaled. Sometimes Khaled also goes further to highlight something that is the “key to MORE success.” Either way he puts it, Khaled is telling us his secrets to working hard, believing in yourself and living a successful life.

Here are some real ways Khaled has used “Major key!”
“Major key, get a pedicure and manicure once a week!”
“Almond milk, cinnamon toast crunch, MAJOR key to success!”
“The key to success is to have a lot of pillows. A LOT!”
“The key is NOT to drive your jetski in the dark.”
“The key to success is to have a hammock!”
“They key is to have every key.”

That last one is a real thinker, kind of a Catch-22! “Major keys” can be issued to a variety of things, people, and ideas, including the time Khaled received an enormous supply of mouthwash from Listerine and a box of Dove soap and announced they both conveniently are also keys!

? THEY?

The villain of Khaled’s world, “They” are the “haters” that prevent one from achieving success. Often accompanied by the ? emoji, “they” are not welcome in Khaled’s home (he has a “They Not Welcome” mat at the door of his office). “They” can refer to people or just general adversarial aspects of life.
For example, Khaled has said “They don’t want you to be the biggest boss in the game!”

Here are some other things that “They” don’t want you to do, according to Khaled:
“They don’t want you to have a Rolls Royce”
“They don’t want you to break the App Store”
“They don’t want you to exercise”
“They don’t want you to have an amazing breakfast”
“They don’t want you to be on a jetski doin’ 360s”
A common sentence structure used by Khaled is to say “They don’t want me to ____ so I’m going to ____” For example, “They don’t want me to be on Jimmy Kimmel, so we’re gonna be on Jimmy Kimmel.”

Embedded from www.youtube.com.