Who the Hell Broke Into Blac Chyna’s Safe?

A serious investigation.

RING THE ALARM. Someone broke into cheek-piercing trailblazer Blac Chyna’s safe and stole $200,000 in cash and jewelry (TMZ reports). Do you know how many waist trainers you can buy with that loot? Millions. Or gallons of weird tea? Thousands. The things this small fortune could’ve done for humanity–or Chyna’s social media following!

We’re sure Chyna’s head is spinning, along with boyfriend Rob Kardashian’s, who could’ve used the money to buy Kendall Jenner (Bible) a new iPad.

Our heads are spinning, too, because TMZ reports someone from BlacRob’s inner circle could be responsible. (There were no signs of forced entry, which is legal jargon for, “The call is coming from inside the house!”) If this theory holds water, who did this? A member of the Jenner-Kardashian clan? The ghost of Kim Karashian’s marriage to Kris Humphries? The possibilities are endless…and terrifying. Here are our top suspects.

  • The real Black Rob–the rapper, not BlacRob

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    Chyna and Kardashian aren’t putting RESPEK on his name, so he took back what was his.

  • Scott Disick

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    His strange way of winning back Kourtney Kardashian’s trust. He’ll show up in a couple days with cash and jewelry in hand playing the hero.

VH1 staffers bring Kylie Jenner’s relationship with Chyna’s ex Tyga to life in the following video.

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