By Claire Downs
By now, we should all be “in Formation” and on the same page about Beyoncé’s Lemonade, AKA “the night Jay realized he was not gonna be taken to Red Lobster.” The Beyhive learned that Jay messed up big time, Beyoncé names a mysterious “Becky with the good hair,” and declares, “Ashes to ashes, dust to side chicks.” Who is Becky though? The Beyhive already has its list of suspects. Is it another celeb we know or just cheating personified? Whatever your opinion, music has a long history of songs about “Beckies” – here are some of the most famous ones.
This song offers some sound advice for women who are being cheated on: 1) Middle fingers up, hold ’em hands high. 2) Wave it in his face 3) Tell him “Boy, bye.” That’s really all there is to it!
Most damning lyric: He only want me when I’m not there/He better call Becky with the good hair
Kathy and Chuck (“Trapped in the Closet Chapter 3” – R. Kelly)
Becky with the gay husband who also cheats on her
Trapped in the Closet is like nothing else. A “hip-hopera” released over the course of 7 years, it has more inter-connecting characters and storylines than all six seasons of Game of Thrones. Last fall, R. Kelly said he has “40 more chapters to release” – something that absolutely nobody asked for.
“Chapter 3” starts with four people – Sylvester (R. Kelly), a woman named Kathy, her husband, Rufus, and her husband’s gay lover, Chuck. Sylvester is with Kathy (who he thought was named Mary) and thanks to Chuck, it’s come to light that Rufus is a little less hetero than his mustache makes him out to be. Everyone starts yelling at each other until Sylvester – in a move that’s totally uncalled for – shoots his gun at the ceiling. Everyone is visibly upset by this. Not cool Sly, not cool.
Most damning lyric: Then she screams, “Rufus you son of a bitch,”/ He says,”Kathy, go to hell!”/I said, “I thought you said your name was Mary, that’s what you said at the party.
Tanisha and Rhonda (“I Can Love You Better” – Mary J. Blige Feat. Lil Kim)
Two Beckies on a bike
This power collaboration between Mary J. Blige and Lil Kim is all about their relationship with a mystery men who just doesn’t understand all the love they need is right here. Singling out “Tanisha and Rhonda” (classic side chick names), was Kim’s way of calling out these hangers-on to her man’s fame as temporary accessories who will never love him as much she can.
Most damning lyric: Dippin on ya Ninja Honda with Tanisha and Rhonda, wha!
Jolene – (“Jolene” – Dolly Parton)
Becky with the auburn hair
The most famous side chick in side chick history is Dolly Parton’s Jolene. She has one thing in common with Becky, she has good (flaming locks of auburn) hair! Apparently, Jolene was a red-headed bank clerk who frequently flirted with Dolly’s husband right after they got married. Not okay, Jolene. Not okay.
Most damning lyric: You could have your choice of men/But I could never love again/He’s the only one for me, Jolene
Barbara (“Woman to Woman” – Shirley Brown)
Becky with the landline
Shirley just “happened” to be going through her husband’s pockets and she just “happened” to find a woman named Barbara’s phone number. Instead of using reason and logic, Shirl is suspicious AF. She calls the number and jumps to all kinds of conclusions, not even giving Barbara a chance to respond. Barbara could be her husband’s doctor or the name of the party planner for the big surprise anniversary party her husband is planning! YOU DON’T KNOW BARBARA’S LIFE, SHIRLEY! STOP TRIPPIN’!
Most damning lyric:The bed he sleeps in and every piece of food he eats/You see I make it possible/The clothes on his back, ha ha, I buy them/The car he drives, I pay the note every month
Bill – (“Bill” – Peggy Scott)
Becky who is a man named Bill
It was the song that introduced us to “the down-low.” With awkward, literal lyrics like
There are no words that can describe, what I felt inside/When I found out the man I loved loved another guy you might think you’re listening to a new Lonely Island song. Nope, it’s just Peggy Scott telling us that she was “ready” to find her man cheating with any number of women (namely Mary, Susan, Helen and Jane) – which begs the question “why ready?”
Most damning lyric: This very awkward line – Bill was a friend and he was God-Uncle to my only son/Now it looks Uncle Billy wants to be his step-mom
Look, not everyone has been able to master the art of maintaining a side piece. This video below features a few experts who could offer some advice on the topic.