Megan Fox Hears Messages From Her Unborn Child + More Sorcery From This Week

WITCHES.

Has this week felt weird to you? Have you stepped in gum more than usual? Did you trip walking into your office yesterday–even though you wore flats? Don’t worry, we feel the weirdness, too. But it has nothing to do with you. There is no bad karma in the air. The reason is simple: celebrity witchcraft.

Something is brewing over in Hollywood, and it’s chock-full of dark magic. The spells A-listers are casting have thrown off everyone’s energy, hence your current gum-in-shoe problem. These are the eight witchiest pop culture moments of the week. Once you read them, every s–ty thing that happened to you on Monday will make sense. The answer is always–without fail–witches.

  • Megan Fox hears messages from her unborn child.

    20th Century Fox

    Fox told Jimmy Kimmel on Tuesday (May 31) that she can communicate with the person inside her pregnant belly. “You don’t hear an audible voice, but you hear messages, if you’re open to it,” Fox said. “For instance, this baby wanted me to live somewhere else so we’re moving to a whole different place in Los Angeles because I feel like that’s where this baby wants to be raised.”

  • This 13-year-old girl from America’s Got Talent has a 40-year-old woman’s opera voice.

    Embedded from www.youtube.com.

    Alright…who did this spell? Bless.

  • Kristin Cavallari says she doesn’t do cardio.

    Embedded from www.instagram.com.

    However, she does do strength training, according to her interview with Modeliste. Even still, some sorcery is at play here.

  • An Alabama middle school teacher gives her students a math test involving “pimps,” “hos,” and “crack.”

    Clearly a hex that clouded the teacher’s judgment is responsible.

  • Kim Kardashian’s new Kimojis feature every imaginable version of twerking.

    Grab your holy water.

  • Mariah Carey wears this dress on a casual Wednesday.

    Getty Images

    Because a witch must look her best at all times.

  • Harry Potter and the Cursed Child releases cast photos.

    Yup. Magic on fleek.

  • Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris split.

    Embedded from www.instagram.com.

    The only logical, super-realistic explanation? Katy Perry brewed a break-up potion.