TV

Can We Please Pay Tribute to These Original TV THOTs?

How you doin'?

When I was little, Marcia Brady was my idol. The long-haired, shady princess ruled her family with a well-manicured fist and always had boys calling. Someday, I’d like to have the flirty gravitas of Marcia. When I told this to my friend, he cheekily responded, “You know Marcia was a THOT, right?”

A THOT? Marcia? At first, I thought the notion was blasphemous. She was a teenager! But the more I chewed on it, the more I realized it was true. For the 1970s, Marcia was basically Sex and the City’s Samantha Jones. Instead of sex, though, Marcia had a phone line. She paved the way for the current TV THOTs we know and love.

And Marcia isn’t the only one. These 11 other classic small-screen characters were always thirsty–baes after my own heart! Can we take a second to tribute them, please? Without them, none of us would have the power to THOT. (And I need to THOT.)

  • Joey Tribbiani, Friends

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    “How you doin’?” is the male THOT battle cry.

  • Rayanne Graff, My So-Called Life

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    Ring Pops are an aphrodisiac, apparently.

  • Suzanne Sugarbaker, Designing Women

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    “If sex were fast food, there’d be an arch over your bed.”

  • Marcia Brady, The Brady Bunch

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    Why TF were so many dudes calling her?!

  • Zack Morris, Saved by the Bell

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    The original smooth operator.

  • Kelly Taylor, Beverly Hills, 90210

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    She was introduced as a “spoiled teen vixen,” so…

  • Will “The Fresh Prince” Smith, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

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    Yup.

  • Blanche Devereaux, The Golden Girls

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    Serving you AARP thirst realness since 1985.

  • Roz Doyle, Frasier

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    “Dear, silly, horny Roz.”

  • Johnny Bravo, Johnny Bravo

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    Never has a cartoon character tried to get laid more than him.

  • Sandra Clark, 227

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    Her Family Feud scene where “men” is her answer for everything sums it up.

  • Kelly Bundy, Married with Children

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    She always got hers.