When I was little, Marcia Brady was my idol. The long-haired, shady princess ruled her family with a well-manicured fist and always had boys calling. Someday, I’d like to have the flirty gravitas of Marcia. When I told this to my friend, he cheekily responded, “You know Marcia was a THOT, right?”
A THOT? Marcia? At first, I thought the notion was blasphemous. She was a teenager! But the more I chewed on it, the more I realized it was true. For the 1970s, Marcia was basically Sex and the City’s Samantha Jones. Instead of sex, though, Marcia had a phone line. She paved the way for the current TV THOTs we know and love.
And Marcia isn’t the only one. These 11 other classic small-screen characters were always thirsty–baes after my own heart! Can we take a second to tribute them, please? Without them, none of us would have the power to THOT. (And I need to THOT.)
Joey Tribbiani, FriendsGiphy
“How you doin’?” is the male THOT battle cry.
Rayanne Graff, My So-Called LifeGiphy
Ring Pops are an aphrodisiac, apparently.
Suzanne Sugarbaker, Designing Women
“If sex were fast food, there’d be an arch over your bed.”
Marcia Brady, The Brady BunchGiphy
Why TF were so many dudes calling her?!
Zack Morris, Saved by the BellGiphy
The original smooth operator.
Kelly Taylor, Beverly Hills, 90210Giphy
She was introduced as a “spoiled teen vixen,” so…
Will “The Fresh Prince” Smith, The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy
Blanche Devereaux, The Golden GirlsGiphy
Serving you AARP thirst realness since 1985.
Roz Doyle, FrasierGiphy
“Dear, silly, horny Roz.”
Johnny Bravo, Johnny BravoGiphy
Never has a cartoon character tried to get laid more than him.
Sandra Clark, 227
Her Family Feud scene where “men” is her answer for everything sums it up.
Kelly Bundy, Married with ChildrenGiphy
She always got hers.