8 Messy Lawsuits Filed Against Donald Trump That Are Perfect for Reality TV

Don't you want to see Trump v. USA Freedom Kids?

By Brenden Gallagher

It is well known that Donald Trump has a favorite tactic when it comes to his detractors: he sues them. If you even hint at suggesting that he might have less money than he says he does, you are looking at a potential court date. For the real estate shyster and reality show conman, the subpoenas go both ways. Initially, we wanted to call this article “Everyone Who Has Sued Donald Trump.” Once we found out that Donald Trump is currently involved in 3,500 court cases, we decided just to hit you with the highlights. Here are the funniest and strangest lawsuits that have been filed against Donald Trump that we would totally watch if played out on a reality TV show.

  • The USA Freedom Kids

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    You might remember these little tykes for their Hitler Youth meets Little Miss Sunshine performance at a Florida Trump rally early this year. The Tykes of Liberty were verbally promised a mere $2,500 for two performances, and Donald’s team hasn’t paid up. Considering there are three (or more?) Freedom kids, that stipend would barely cover sequins and gas money. They say Freedom isn’t free, but it shouldn’t put you in the red.

  • The American Dream Pageant

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    Before he got involved with the Miss Universe contest, Trump had an ill-fated partnership with The American Dream Pageant in 1992. The pageant, run by couple George Houraney and Jill Harth, looked at Trump as a potential business partner. Not only did Trump allegedly engage in a slew of sexually inappropriate behaviors, including making a pass at Harth herself, once the contest was over, he ghosted. His behavior resulted in a lawsuit for his behavior and for breach of contract which was settled out of court for an unannounced sum.

  • Non-Consensual Texts

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    Last spring a Chicago man launched a class-action law suit against Trump for blasting a mass “Make America Great Again” text to a list of potential voters who had not given out their phone number and had never consented to receive messages from the Trump campaign. “Hey U Up … for leveraging nativist sentiment to elect a billionaire strongman?”

  • A Model Contract

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    Trump Model Management was a company that Trump briefly ran which involved bringing international models to the US by securing them H1B visas. Jamaican model Alexia Palmer claimed that she was promised a luxurious lifestyle and a $70,000 a year salary if she came to America. She only ever say a few thousand of the promised money. Her lawsuit was dismissed, but a number of models who worked with the company have lodged similar complaints. Palmer is in the process of building a class-action suit.

  • Trump University

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    By now, you’ve probably heard of Trump University, the get-rich-quick university, that turned out to be a get-rich-quick scheme itself surprising no one but the students. Numerous lawsuits are still swirling around the now defunct institute of not-so-higher learning. Though the school shut down in 2010, class action lawsuits are still active in California and New York. Everything about this suit is reality TV gold. We’ve already seen it play out in the media from Trump attacking a federal judge’s ability to be fair because of his Mexican heritage to alleged backdoor deals to throw the case out.

  • Golf Club Fees

    Trump is currently involved in a class-action lawsuit with golf club members because he slickly renegotiated golf club rules to bilk members out of their deposits. Even though he’s billionaire (or so he tells us), Trump is still going to nickel and dime you. At Trump golf clubs, apparently there are more than just sand traps to worry about.

  • Trump Tower Undocumented Labor

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    This one isn’t necessarily strange or funny, but it is the most ironic among the dozens of Trump lawsuits that have popped up over the years. In 1980, a contractor under the gun to finish demolition on the proposed Trump Tower site on deadline employed the labor of hundreds of undocumented Polish immigrants in order to get the job done under Trump’s constraints. The union got wind of the hire and came after Trump for millions in unpaid pensions and contributions. So, if you’re keeping score at home, Trump thinks immigrants are bad unless they are working for you or married to you.

  • Apprentice Age Discrimination

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    A fifty-one year old aspiring Apprentice contestant (which might be the saddest phrase in the English language) sued Donald Trump in 2007 for age discrimination after he was denied a chance to be fired on national television. It turns out that only two finalists in six season were over the age of forty. Surprisingly, the case ended in an out of court settlement, which is much better than being fired.

We made liberals blind-taste test Trump’s wine, and the results were hilarious. Watch below.

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