By: Taylor Davis
Halloween movies are the worst because they’re all the same and go one of two ways.
A kind person goes to seek solace in a remote place and ends up making a “friend”, who actually turns out to be a nut. The next 60 – 90 minutes is spent showing the audience how crazy the “friend” is as they try to kill off the main character, who finally gets the memo, kills the crazy and enjoys their vacation.
A group of nosey people go somewhere they have no business going, and start experiencing weird things as they get picked off one by one. There’s always the one person who didn’t want be there anyway saying, “We gotta get outta here!” By the time everyone’s almost dead, the person that was trying to go home survives a dramatic battle scene with a serial killer or supernatural force. They head home and we all prepare for the sequel.
As a viewer, it takes you about three minutes to identify which scenario any given horror movie falls under. Once you do, you know how it ends and there goes the horror element.
So instead of watching Human Centipede 9 or Paranormal Activity 26 this Halloween, watch something that will actually terrify you: a documentary. Not a documentary about saving the Ozone Layer or kids with unique talents, but about legit crazy people. Most of these documentaries won’t give you the heebie jeebies based on the content, but rather the people in them and the fact that they exist.
Be warned, you might need a nightlight after watching some of these.
A 13-year-old boy goes missing in Texas and is found in Spain three years later with a thick French accent and different colored eyes and hair. The title may or may not be a spoiler alert but the entire movie will have you asking “Honestly, WTF?”
Most horror films claim you won’t be able to sleep afterwards but you actually won’t be able to even take a nap after this doc. It follows a few people that are affected by sleep paralysis which is characterized as experiencing severe hallucinations while not being able to move or sleep.
This has all the elements of horror movie formula #2: Urban legend, escaped mental patient, abandoned houses, missing kids and being somewhere you shouldn’t be. But it’s real.
This movie is the epitome of horror movie formula #2. Two people go places they have no business going to in an attempt to “uncover” stories of deranged people acting out local urban legends in real life.
My Amityville Horror
A house on Ocean Avenue in Amityville, NY, might be one of the most infamous houses in America. The harmless looking suburban home has been the subject of more than two dozen books and movies. This doc interviews one of the Lutz children (who’s family infamously moved out of the allegedly haunted house after 28 days), 36 years after their month of horror. You probably don’t want to watch this one (or even the trailer) at home while you’re alone.
Even if you’ve never seen The Shining the trailer for this documentary about the movie and it’s hidden message will still creep you out. The trailer doesn’t feature anything more than a cassette player in a hallway, film accolades and music that’s scary AF.
Before everyone thought logging into Netflix to watch Making a Murder made them a lawyer or HBO’s The Night Of made them a cop, HBO’s minidocuseries The Jinx made you think you were both. Watch all six episodes if you want see a seriously insane man spiral out of control.
Biography – Ed Gein
Have you ever seen The Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Well it’s based off this guy. #EnoughSaid
Sometimes movies make children seem like the scariest people, but this documentary proves you can’t always trust the old ones. Albert Fish was an old drifter, who would move to a new place, abduct children, torture and then eat them. He once bragged that he had “had a child in every state.” This documentary also features readings from his diary entries in a terrifyingly bad British accent.
Put on your sexiest costume and get ready to party cause we’re about to get down tonight on VH1! The fright night festivities start at 8pm with a new episode of Love and Hip Hop: Hollywood, followed by Black Ink Chicago at 9pm, and our Halloween special Grown & Sexy at 10pm.