By Jasmine Grant
At first, we thought Drake popping up at J.Lo’s concert in Vegas was just the result of an innocent crush. But now, it seems #DraLo might be a real thing, judging by this super cozy photo she (and he) posted of them on Instagram. Plus, Rihanna swiftly unfollowed both Drake and Jennifer on Instagram. Confirmation?
Drake and J.Lo’s new love affair, in combination with her other past romances, highlight one thing for us: She’s got a good grip on this complicated thing we call dating. Instead of holding tightly to the archaic ideals that a woman’s mark of success is finding an even more successful man to put a ring on it, she’s owning her mistakes and going at her own pace. J. Lo’s love life is centered around loving yourself and not taking dating too seriously.
In 2017, let’s do away with the messy breakups and subbing exes on social media. We encourage you to take a few notes from J. Lo’s playbook and learn what it truly means to be #unbothered.
She’s No Longer Pressured To Find “The One”Getty
Some would say a woman who has been divorced three times and proposed to five times doesn’t really know what she wants. In fact, quite the opposite is true. Jennifer, like most women, had high hopes for all the men she’s dated. If there were some reliable crystal ball that could quickly identify who we’re destined to end up with, there would be a lot less screaming matches. Unfortunately, we live in the real world, which means you have to sail on, casually date, and wait for true love to arrive in due time.
She’s Not Petty With Her Exes (In Fact, She’ll Even Flirt For Old Time’s Sake)Getty
Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have maintained an exemplary relationship as exes. This of course is ideal when co-parenting. But it’s funny to see J.Lo flaunt the fact that she could probably have him back if she wanted him. Case in point: the recent Latin Grammy Awards where the two shared a quick smooch on stage. This caused a bit of trouble for Marc at home (he and wife Shannon De Lima have since filed for divorce), but it’s certainly was a power move for J.Lo. Moral of the story is that bitterness is a heavy load to carry. Sometimes it’s better to just call a truce with your ex and actually be happy that you both found solace in the arms of someone better suited for you.
She Never Gives Up On Love
When you’ve survived a few failed marriages and very public relationships, it’s tempting to feel defeated. Even with all of her relationship blunders, Jennifer Lopez understands that love is a battlefield and she’s always down for one more fight. “I still believe in love,” she told Elle UK of her infamous dating history. “The nirvana man, he’s out there somewhere. But you just have to work at it. You have to work at everything.”
But She Knows When To Let Go If It’s Not Working Out
When you’re in love, its natural to want to dig in your heels and fight harder when the relationship hits a bump in the road. There comes a point, though, when you realize things clearly aren’t working out. That’s where the hard part comes in. Thankfully, J.Lo has mastered the art of telling em’ #BoyBye when she feels her time in being wasted. Jennifer’s engagement to Ben Affleck ended in 2004 after rumored commitment problems and toxic “lifestyle choices” on Ben’s part. In a GQ interview, Ben alluded that the relationship was a bit too public for his taste. Either way, you’re looking at a classic case of incompatibility. Jen saying sayonara to this relationship shows exactly what you should do when the jig is up.
J. Lo Can Literally Have Whatever Man She Wants At ANY Age
Jenny from the block is the epitome of what it means to flex on your exes (have you seen that body?!) Drake may be more than a decade younger than Jennifer, but trust she’s not new to dating younger men. J.Lo and ex-boyfriend/former backup dancer Casper Smart were 18 years apart. But with wisdom, J.Lo has come to know that age and maturity aren’t one in the same. She never lets factors like age and experience prevent her from giving love a try. As you can see, she’ll gladly get up and leave if it proves to be a problem down the line.
She Never Listens To The Peanut GalleryGetty Images
J.Lo is never shy about putting her love on full display on a red carpet or hand-in-hand in the street, but that’s as much as you’ll get from her. Jennifer has always been somewhat elusive about the details of her relationships because its an open invitation for people to judge and add their 2 cents about your mate (not that they don’t do it anyway). It’s always healthy to ask for a second opinion if you’re unsure about a specific issue with the person you’re dating, but as Jennifer shows us, sometimes listening to what the world thinks instead of listening to your gut is how you end up ruining a potentially good thing.
She Loves Herself First And Lets Everything Else Play Out
If you can’t love yourself first, what’s the use in finding love elsewhere? Jennifer Lopez is a champion of taking care of yourself—mind, body, and soul. The evidence of that is clear. She’s a fun loving person who exudes health and wellness. In an interview with the Dr. Oz show, she confessed, “The truth is when you do love yourself, you don’t allow certain things to happen. You can’t keep blaming everybody else for your relationship and what’s happening like, ’Oh, the other person messed up.’ It’s like, ’No, you’re doing something. You’re doing something wrong.’ So all of that stuff got me to thinking I want to take care of myself better, because I want to be great for my kids.”
Watch some VH1 staffers give their take on many of the defining moments of this up and (mostly) down year.