The most used (and confusing) word of this season of Basketball Wives, “ponderosa,” has finally been defined and it doesn’t mean what you think. Jackie was initially upset that Evelyn and Tami had a “ponderosa” about their annoyances with Jackie that ended up squashing their differences. No one knew what the word meant (Evelyn even said it sounded like a “steakhouse in the Bronx”) but now, after all season, we’ve finally got a clear definition.
After a wild night out in Miami with Hazel, Malaysia and Malaysia’s twerking pants, Jackie Christie and her clear thigh highs get into a van to head back to the hotel. Since a drunken tongue speaks a sober mind, Malaysia decides to let her girl Jackie know that she’s been incorrectly using the word “ponderosa” because it’s really a type tree. But since sex is always on Jackie’s mind, she quickly corrects her friend and says, “No, a ponderosa is when pimp gets all his hoes together and they meet on a pond and mother***king rosa.” Hazel is all of us in the back seat like WTF?
No one is buying Jackie’s definition so she uses it in a sentence. Still not convinced, Jackie decides to squash disagreement by heading to Google. Unfortunately for Malaysia and Hazel/fortunately for Jackie, porn comes up and she basically bookmarks it for later. Jackie gives the girls a prime porn search phrase and a discussion ensues about ejaculation preferences. Since she’s a self-proclaimed sex expert, Jackie warns that getting semen that smells like Purex in your eye can blind you. The ladies want to know whose semen smells likes Purex and Jackie clarifies: “A clean guy when they have an orgasm, and they have not had one in a long time, it smells like Purex. But if they have been c-ming it’s just gonna smell regular, might even have a vanilla tint to it.”
Distracted long enough, they return to the ponderosa debate and Jackie claims a victory when the sentence Malaysia recites is “John, I’m chilling at the ponderosa,” and Jackie uses the name John to relate back to prostitutes, thus proving her point.
Don’t miss the Basketball Wives reunion Monday at 9/8c.