Nicki Minaj Allegedly Once Stabbed a Girl With a Fork at a Sleepover and Honestly, It Just Gets Crazier From There

Don't worry, I'm on the case.

In the criminal justice system, fork-based offenses are considered especially heinous. On the Internet, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Kitchen Victims Unit. These are their stories.

*DUN DUN*

Welcome to the first and last episode of Law & Order: Kitchen Victims Unit. Here’s what we know:

When Nicki Minaj was still just Onika Tanya Maraj, a girl from Jamaica, Queens, she attended a sleepover. She was just eleven years old when her first fork-based offense occurred.

Nicki confessed to “beatin da shit out this girl who was pickin on me!” It was a clear cut case of self defense. Most people know better than to mess with Nicki. But now, 23 years later (I did that math on a calculator like a real detective) her victim is coming forward with brand new facts.

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