We’re only a little more than halfway through 2015, but you can’t go anywhere without hearing about the 2016 presidential race. Even if you’re not into politics, it’s worth paying attention to, because what these candidates are running on isn’t policy so much as legendary shade. Leh-gen-darrrrry. Which is, of course, exactly the sort of mature behavior you want from your Commander-in-Chief.
In case you forgot who’s running (or never knew), MTV has done an amazing series rounding them all up. So, deep breath….
Democrats: Lincoln Chafee, Hillary Clinton, Martin O’Malley, Bernie Sanders, and Jim Webb.
Republicans: Jeb Bush, Ben Carson, Chris Christie, Ted Cruz, Carly Fiorina, Lindsey Graham, Mike Huckabee, Bobby Jindal, George Pataki, Rand Paul, Rick Perry, Marco Rubio, Rick Santorum, Donald Trump, and Scott Walker.
Now, let’s get to the drama.
Hillary Clinton Vs. Jeb Bush
Anyone who believes Americans aren't working hard enough hasn't met enough American workers. pic.twitter.com/wyS1p8zcDo
— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) July 9, 2015
The two candidates with the biggest last names going into the campaign have had some shade-covered subtweets recently. After Bush said Americans need to work more hours for economic growth, Secretary Clinton had the above to say. Work it, girl.
Anyone who discounts 6.5 million people stuck in part-time work & seeking full-time jobs hasnt listened to working Americans @hillaryclinton
— Jeb Bush (@JebBush) July 9, 2015
But don’t worry, Jeb wasn’t going to go down without a fight. He ain’t got no time for sub either, and he went right @ her in his reply.
Carly Fiorina Vs. Hillary Clinton
— Carly Fiorina (@CarlyFiorina) July 13, 2015
Ouch. In a Twitter video (people do those?), Fiorina, the former CEO of HP and a Republican candidate, wasted no time on formalities, opening with “Hillary Clinton’s speech was a bundle of contradictions, a litany of progressive prescriptions…” Can’t these girls just get along? Most likely not, since the harsh words continued in Fiorina’s interview with Megyn Kelly.
Rand Paul Vs. Marco Rubio
Hey @marcorubio if the embargo doesn't hurt Cuba, why do you want to keep it?
— Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 19, 2014
As you probably know, Cuban-American relations are back on track (Road trip to Havana anyone?) and Marco Rubio isn’t exactly happy about it. Which meant Rand Paul was ready to call him out. Basically this turned into a Twitter-rant.
Donald Trump Vs. John McCainEmbedded from www.youtube.com.
John McCain, who was in this presidential campaign whirlwind only two cycles back himself, is known for his heroism during the Vietnam War, where he was also held as a Prisoner of War for five years. Yeah, the Donald doesn’t necessarily agree, by saying “”He is a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren’t captured, OK?”
Bobby Jindal Vs. Donald Trump
After Donald Trump spends six years in a POW camp, he can weigh in on John McCain's service
— Gov. Bobby Jindal (@BobbyJindal) July 18, 2015
Running for president, especially as a Republican, it is never smart to diss someone’s war record.
Rick Perry Vs. Donald Trump
Carly Fiorina Vs. Donald Trump
.@SenJohnMcCain served w honor&courage-proud to call him a friend. GOP voters deserve better than outrageous statements & personal attacks.
— Carly Fiorina (@CarlyFiorina) July 18, 2015
George Pataki Vs. Donald Trump
.@GovernorPataki was a terrible governor of NY, one of the worst — would’ve been swamped if he ran again!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 1, 2015
At this point it’s basically Donald Trump Vs. the World, tbh.