Truth Be Told: Nicole Richie Quotes Prove She’s the Realest Chick in the Game

"I wear glasses. I know everything."

We should all aspire to be more like Nicole Richie. The pint-sized star of Candidly Nicole, which airs its Season Two premiere tonight at 11/10c on VH1, is an expert in serving up frosty, iron-clad truths. In a world full of crappy people spewing loads of crap, Nicole is a shining beacon of honesty and full-fledged badassery. A queen, to be frank.

Don’t believe us? Check out these gold-star moments that prove Lady Nicole is the realest betch in town. Homegirl has two children but openly admits to hating kids. She knows what’s up.

  • When she gave herself a much-deserved pat on the back.

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    Baby steps, guys.

  • When she knew damn well sleep >>> everything else.

    In fact, she’s probably in precious slumber rn.

  • And that people suck royally.

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    Like, leave me the eff alone.

  • When she gave us A+ advice on how to be frugal.

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    Burger King will understand.

  • The time she experienced bae struggles.

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    And responded 100 percent logically.

  • Especially the anxiety that ensues over sending Brad a perfect text.

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    It’s the difference between a Friday night with Netflix/Chipotle…or a Friday night orgasming.

  • When in doubt, Nicole is ready for things to get sexual.

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    This will totes impress Brad.

  • She believes having a smile on your face is the key to success.

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    Ray of GD sunshine.

  • But sometimes it helps to be a straight-up boss.

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    We’re terrified.

  • Again, BOSS.

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    Bowing down IRL.

  • Even if it means doing hard time.

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    You gotta do what you gotta do, man.

  • She’s an unapologetic individualist…

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    To the trolls, Nicole (and Carrie Bradshaw) say, “Go lay in your beige bed.”

  • …who wears her emotions on her sleeve.

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    Thanks for your bravery, N.

  • Nic knows a thing or two about confidence.

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    Fake it ’til you make it.

  • And motivation.

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    Let’s get the haters jealous.

  • Remember when she was all of us on Monday mornings?

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    Go away.

  • Or the time she asked the important questions.

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    Who needs ’em, girl?

  • She’s also a marriage expert.

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    This is sound thinking.

  • But, most important, Nicole knows family comes first.

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    STFU and do your schoolwork, Harlow.

Never change, galactic supernova duchess.