If you’re a Harry Potter fan, then you probably think J.K. Rowling—who turns 50 today!—is the most talented human to ever walk on Earth. (And, tbh, you’re right.) The woman’s brain is full of sparkly magic, and she has the ability to cure all of society’s problems. (C’mon, y’all. J.K. is a literal witch. Who else can save us from Donald Trump?)
But did you also know she’s a certified boss? When J.K. is not slaying all of your literary faves, she keeps herself busy shutting down trolls on Twitter, throwing low-key shade, and blessing the world with general wonderment. Fully serious, Lady Rowling is the textbook definition of perfection. Check out these boss moments that confirm the Potter scribe gets her life harder than anyone else.
The time she dismissed misogyny.
.@sjosiah0 The Internet doesn’t just offer opportunities for misogynistic abuse, you know. Penis enlargers can also be bought discreetly.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 8, 2015
Following the 2015 elections in the U.K., J.K.—a supporter of the Labour party—received hate messages from people who disagreed with her viewpoints. One particularly nasty worm called the author some godawful things we don’t even want to repeat. But, don’t worry, J.K. shut him down.
When she defended Serena Williams like a bona fide queen.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) July 11, 2015
After a troll criticized Serena’s muscular body, J.K. ferociously clapped back. We’re pretty sure astronauts in outer space heard this one.
The time she became a casual LGBTQ icon.
@halfelven55ff I advise you to start following Brian Souter at once. He's much more your kind of person.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) September 6, 2014
Most HP fans were chill AF when the Rowls announced Professor Albus Dumbledore was gay. Notice we say most. One disgruntled stan tweeted at J.K. in 2014, “Once u revealed Dumbledore was homosexual I stopped being a fan…Nice how u blindsided us with that one. Enjoy your billion $ (sic).” How dumb, right? J.K. thought so too, so she told this rat to go hang out with Brian Souter, a famous anti-gay Scottish businessman. Full-on destruction!
And a pioneer for gay marriage/hater of Westboro Baptist Church.
.@WBCsigns Alas, the sheer awesomeness of such a union in such a place would blow your tiny bigoted minds out of your thick sloping skulls.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 26, 2015
Everyone rejoiced when Ireland became the first country in the world to legalize gay marriage—well, except the grade-A douches at Westboro Baptist Church. When those imbeciles caught wind of a tweet J.K. wrote celebrating the fact Dumbledore and Gandalf (from Lord of the Rings) could get married in Ireland, they replied with something stupid. Thankfully, J.K. has no time for basics, and her rebuttal was all kinds of epic.
When she had the perfect response to some scrub who said her books should be burned.
.@JMcGilchrist93 Book burnings! I'll bring marshmallows.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 10, 2015
We’ll bring the graham crackers, bb.
Remember the time she read the hell out of Fifty Shades of Grey?
When asked about Fifty Shades author E. L. James beating her sales record, J.K. gave the most life-giving response. All aboard the subtle dig express! (In all honesty, she was just being funny. But, still, the shaaaaade of it all!)
Or when she built actual Hogwarts in her backyard?
According to Hypable, J.K. fashioned Hogwarts-style treehouses in her personal Edinburgh backyard. As if you needed another reason to be jealous of J.K.’s spawns. The houses even come with DAMN SPIRAL STAIRCASES! What is life?!
How about the time she published a book, but no one knew it was J.K.’s for three months?Sphere Books
This is amazing. In April 2013, a book titled The Cuckoo’s Calling hit shelves by an unknown author named “Robert Galbraith.” However, after three months, news broke that Robert was actually J.K.; she published the book using a pseudonym! Why, you ask? Because she wanted to see the real response to Cuckoo’s without the Harry buzz. “It has been wonderful to publish without hype or expectation, and pure pleasure to get feedback under a different name,” J.K. said.
But, best of all, remember when she invited all of us to be wand-holders?
Empress of life.