Jennifer Aniston Would Get Married Exactly One Year After Brangelina Because She’s a Low-Key Shade Queen

Pure brilliance.

Brangelina said “I do” August 23, 2014. Here we are in August 2015, and Jennifer Aniston comes out of the woodwork with (what we assume is) a shiny new ring from exchanging vows with her bae Justin Theroux. Yeah, they’re like, really married rn.

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Yup. Can you even?

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According to People, 70 guests had the privilege of watching the nearly-vanished couple get hitched at their Bel Air house yesterday. They’ve been engaged for three damn years, and together for four. And did they completely sneak this by us like the shady mofos they are?

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Yes they did. Touché, guys. Tou-fuckin-ché.

Pizza is bae. And yes, I still say bae.
@taylorferber