Female Celebs Must Cover Those Boobs, Butts And Lapel Pins At This Year’s Grammys

Let's keep it PG.

Don’t hate on the lapel pin.

All celebrity women who love to show off their cleavage should not attend Sunday’s 55th Annual Grammy Awards. And there’s no country for the ladies with rotund backsides either. Beyonce, don’t even think about wearing that black leotard; and Christina Aguilera’s ruffled white panties booty shorts are out of the question. House rules, ladies.

If history repeats itself then there’s really no point of 96% of female artists showing up Sunday since their fashion choices will likely violate CBS’s Standard And Practice Wardrobe Advisory. Summed up: No butt, no butt crack, no boobs, no side boobs, NO NOTHING. Look like a nun. As if turning the Grammys into a conservative convention of button ups and ankle skirts wasn’t enough, CBS does not, under any circumstances, want on-camera talent to wear any lapel pins. Leave those March of Dimes, breast cancer and HIV awareness pins at home. This is no time for your humanitarian causes, people!

Deadline’s retrieved a hilarious email on the dos and donts of dressing for Sunday’s big show.

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure.”

Breast, boobs and butt cracks and sheer, oh my! So you mean to tell us Rihanna has to figure out how she’s going to cover her nipples? As if! Since CBS is being rather uptight this year let’s take a look down memory lane of our favorite past offenders who didn’t give a hoot about your wardrobe advisory.

Breasts, Buttocks, Genitals Ban At Grammys – But Also Message-Sending Lapel Pins [Deadline]