The Day The Internet Failed Justin Bieber

Technology FAIL!

This poor guy can’t catch a break. First he’s getting snubbed by the Grammys, and then his supposedly loyal microphone hits him in the head during Saturday Night Live. If you were Justin Bieber, you’d want to run into the open arms of your fans and friendly live stream viewers, too.

What was supposed to be an alternative to the 16 live performances and eight televised trophy deliveries–none of which included Monsieur Bieber–on last night’s Grammy Awards resulted in the exhaustive search for a synonym to “frustrated” and an inside look at how the Bieber family really vacations. Technology–specifically, the Internet, the very medium that launched Bieber to his superstar status–was not on Team Bieber’s side on Sunday night, as repeated attempts to field questions from fans and distract him from the fact that Rihanna’s nipples partially visible and Katy Perry was open to motorboating couldn’t get off the ground.

The agony Bieb was experiencing left the door open for a slew of conspiracy theories to arise from the Twitter accounts of those who couldn’t possibly care about whether or not Babel defeated El Camino in the Album of the Year category.

BUT! Said technical difficulties ended up giving Beliebers a first listen to a brand-new track–one that can’t be found on new album Believe Acoustic–as well as a chance to watch Justin himself jam out to his hard work. Who’s talking conspiracy theories now, hmm?

As for the new song, Bieber works on his own signature introduction (“It’s Justin! Bieber”) and raps about spreading wings. What will the finished product sound like? Has YouTube sent him a fruit basket during this very difficult time? Until we get the answers to all that and more, Bieber is taking a self-imposed timeout:

We sincerely hope both live stream and U stream services have a skilled security team… just in case. Those Beliebers can be a rowdy bunch.