Throughout the course of pop music history, there have been an untold number of tunes that were obviously written about people’s “business.” Notable ones include Lil Wayne’s “Lollipop,” Flo Rida’s “Whistle Song,” Smoov-E’s “Attack of the 8-Inch Donkey,” and Mozart’s “The Magic Flute” (that’s what it was about, right?). But some song-smiths were a bit sneakier about the whole thing and buried the true meaning a little deeper. We guess they enjoyed the secret perv-y delight that we were all unknowingly singing along to an anthem about their privates. Well played, folks. For 10 of the most surprising displays of musical exhibitionism, let’s take things downstairs…
10. “My Ding-A-Ling” by Chuck Berry (1970)
Lyrical Proof: “My ding a ling, my ding a ling/
I want you to play with my ding a ling”
The godfather of rock’s only number one, BBC officials tried to ban this song about Chuck’s favorite “toy,” consisting of silver bells hanging from a string. Something about the crowd singing along makes the whole thing so much creepier.
9. “Sugar Walls” by Sheena Easton (1984)
Lyrical Proof: “Blood races to your private spots/
Let me know there’s a fire/
You can’t fight passion when passion is hot/
Temperatures rise inside my sugar walls”
It should be no surprise that sexy MF-er Prince wrote this steamy pop confection, which made it onto the Parents Music Resource Center’s “Filthy Fifteen” list!
8. “Monster” by Fred Schneider (1983)
Lyrical Proof: “There’s a monster in my pants/
And it does a nasty dance/
When it moves in and out/
Everybody starts to shout”
This one by the B-52s hype man makes us want to re-examine the true meaning of “Rock Lobster”…
7. “Heart-Shaped Box” by Nirvana (1993)
Lyrical Proof: “Broken hymen of your highness I’m left back/
Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back”
Just in case we didn’t get the metaphors, Kurt Cobain’s widow Courtney Love tweeted these helpful hints to Lana Del Rey after she covered the In Utero track. “You do know the song is about my Vagina right? ’Throw down your umbilical noose so i can climb right back,’ ummm…So umm next time you sing it, think about my vagina will you?”
6. “Hot Dog And A Shake” by David Lee Roth (1988)
Lyrical Proof: “A hot dog and a shake/
That’s what you’re hungry for/
A hot dog and a shake/
My stomch’s makin’ noise/
We’re having dinner late/
’cause I gotta be kept/
In a cool dry place/
Just like any bowl of cherries/
When the cream is risin’ to the top”
We personally love drive-ins and diners, so we can totally relate to craving a hot dog and a shake! For the longest time we just thought that Dave shared similar dreams of a Happy Days-themed Friday night. But then we got older and realized that we were sorely mistaken.
5. “Philosophy” by Ben Folds Five (1995)
Lyrical Proof: “You were laughing at my helmet hat/
Laughing at my torch”
Piano bashing wise-ass Folds used the liner notes on Naked Baby Photos to wrying suggest that this cut is about his privates, “if that’s what you think it’s about.” Allegedly all you have to do is replace “philosophy” with “penis” to decipher the true meaning.
4. “Birthday Cake” by Rihanna (ft. Chris Brown) (2012)
Lyrical Proof: “I know you wanna bite this/
It’s so enticing/
Nothing else like this/
I’ma make you my bitch/
And it’s not even my birthday/
But you wanna put your name on it”
Maybe we’re just late to the birthday party on this one, but we didn’t pick up on the not-so-subtle undertones until very recently. Sorry guys.
3. “Love Gun” by KISS (1977)
Lyrical Proof: See title.
OK, maybe we knew this one was about private parts all along.
2. “Ego” by Beyonce (2008)
Lyrical Evidence: “It’s too big (big)/
It’s too wide (wide)/
It’s too strong (strong)/
It won’t fit (fit)/
It’s too much (much)/
It’s too tough (tough)”
This one’s kind of a double bluff. When we first heard the lyrics, it seemed like the tune was designed to make us think it was about Jay Z’s”dash” before revealing the titular punchline. But now we hear rumors that it really was inspired by Mr. Carter’s anatomy, so…
1. “Sledgehammer” by Peter Gabriel (1986)
Lyrical Proof: “Show me round your fruitcage/
’cos I will be your honey bee/
Open up your fruitcage/
where the fruit is as sweet as can be/
I want to be your sledgehammer/
why don’t you call my name”
The genesis of this list can be traced to this tune! We will never forget the day when this ’80s classic came on in a drug store, and our friend casually made a joke about it being Peter Gabriel’s ode to his very own “sledgehammer.” Consider our minds blown! Aside from the suspicious lyrics, we guess the sperm image at the start of the video should have given it away.
[Photo: Getty Images]