Sexy Sex Songs: 20 Of The Most Memorable Orgasms On Wax
Innuendo is for squares! Sure, lots of songs hide behind metaphors when it comes to sex—they want their CAKE CAKE CAKE and they want to eat it, too!—but we have to give props to the following 20 artists who went ahead and recorded themselves she (and he!) bopping themselves in the recording booth and put it out on record. We'd like to salute the following aural pioneers for being bold enough to push the envelope—not to mention our buttons—and get a bit freaky deaky in the stu.
SONG: "Birthday Cake"
ARTIST: Rihanna
O-FACE SCORE: 1/6 SALLYS
And it's not even her birthday! Rihanna's 1:21 interlude on Talk That Talk features some of Rihanna's groaniest groans, including the memorable line "Ooh, I wanna f*** you right now." The beginning of the song features RiRi moaning in rhythm with some synth lines, making this her most X-rated song to date (and, considering her recent output, that's saying something!).
"American author, recording artist, animation voice actor, comedian, radio personality, puppeteer and advertising creative director*" Stan Freberg caused some ripples of controversy with his comedic 1951 bit "John And Marsha." He claimed at the time that it was a parody of a soap opera, but with hindsight being the way that it is, this was clearly a subversive way to get orgasms playing on radios (not to mention Victrolas!) the world over. Bonus fact! Peggy Olson did this bit during the opening episode of Mad Men's fourth season.
*Thanks Wikipedia!
SONG: "She Bop"
ARTIST: Cyndi Lauper
O-FACE SCORE: 2/6 SALLYS
Cyndi Lauper needs a chaperone because she can't stop playing with the Danger Zone! This 1984 ode to the pleasures of self-love made it all the way to #3 on the Billboard Hot 100, which places it in the canon of the most popular masturbation moments of all-time. Cyndi boops and bops her way through this entire track, but engages in a bit of a frenzied panting around the 2:40 mark of the song.
SONG: "When Boys Talk"
ARTIST: Indeep
O-FACE SCORE: 2/6 SALLYS
This 1983 follow-up to Indeep's dancefloor classic "Last Night A DJ Saved My Life" was not much of a chart hit, but it does contain one of the most famous moments of heavy breathing in music history. As the male singer brags that "I did it so many times, she started saying nursery rhymes," a girl responds with "Uh, uh, BABY" (heard for the first time around 1:58 above). Maybe not the most romantic song of all-time, but this orgasm has been sampled more times than we can count, perhaps most notably in Toni! Tony! Toné!'s 1990 smash, "Feels Good."
SONG: "Me So Horny"
ARTIST: 2 Live Crew
O-FACE SCORE: 2/6 SALLYS
"Oh, me so horny!" The 2 Live Crew caused a meltdown of biblical proportions among religious conservatives when their 1989 album As Nasty As They Wanna Be became the most popular album in America. Their signature single was "Me So Horny," which sampled Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket for its famous refrain and the line "Me love you long time." For a song that's so explicitly about sex, it's remarkably unsexy.
SONG: "Orgasm Addict"
ARTIST: The Buzzcocks
O-FACE SCORE: 2/6 SALLYS
Along with the Sex Pistols, The Buzzcocks were one of the most well-regarded U.K. punk bands of that genre's mid- to late-'70s heydey. The 'Cocks 1977 song, "Orgasm Addict," didn't bother hiding its subject matter behind euphemisms; instead, lead singer Pete Shelley grunts make up the chorus of this song.
SONG: "Lovin' You"
ARTIST: Minnie Riperton
O-FACE SCORE: 3/6 SALLYS
We don't know about you, but the sounds of chirping birds has always got us in the mood for some morning nookie. Minnie Riperton knows what we're talking about, and puts her own crazy high pitched orgasmic squeal on display not once (0:57), not twice (1:50), but THRICE (2:47) on this classic love song. "La la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la lahhh lahhh laahh la, do-dah-do-dee-doooh, (untypeable orgasm noise from another dimension)." Hit those high notes, girrrrl!
SONG: "I Touch Myself"
ARTIST: Divinyls
O-FACE SCORE: 3/6 SALLYS
"She Bop" may have started the female self-love trend in song, but Divinyls' 1990 song about muffin buffin remains the gold standard. Lead singer Chrissy Amphlett's O-moment here might have been brief (starting at about 2:35), but it's definitely memorable, particularly for members of Gen X who came of age when this was an inescapable radio smash.
SONG: "Nasty Girl"
ARTIST: Vanity 6
O-FACE SCORE: 3/6 SALLYS
Vanity 6 was just one of Prince's many sidepieces/sideprojects in the '80s. On this track, lead singer Vanity describes in explicit detail how she "can't control it, [she] needs seven inches or more," which we can only take to mean that Prince is a well-hung dude. She spends a few seconds of the song around the 5:15 mark in the throes of ecstatic pleasure.
SONG: "Do Me!"
ARTIST: Bell Biv Devoe
O-FACE SCORE: 3/6 SALLYS
Bell Biv Devoe's 1990 debut album is most notable for its gamechanging single, "Poison." But "Do Me!" (Note the exclamation point, please) was one of the moaniest, groaniest songs of its era to make the Billboard Top 40. You get to hear orgasmic noises from all three of the gents (of you're into that kind of thing), as well as plenty of anonymous females.
SONG: "Sex (I'm A)"
ARTIST: Berlin
O-FACE SCORE: 3/6 SALLYS
Berlin is best known for the 1986 track "Take My Breath Away," which was an undeniably sexy song that scored perhaps the single least sexy sex scene in the last 30 years of the movie business (the one from Top Gun where Tom Cruise kisses Kelly McGillis in a scene that is downright laughable). But their 1983 single is a staple of sexually charged anthems, mainly because it's all about coke-fueled role play. There's an interlude at the 2:05 mark of the song where lead singer Teri Nunn's breath is DEFINITELY taken away (and then some).
It's been a long time since we've taken French class, but we've been around the block enough times to know that a woman screaming out "Oui, oui, OUIIII!" (starting at 1:23 above) is a good thing. Particularly when that someone is Brigitte Bardot, one of the sultriest sirens to ever grace the silver screen.
SONG: "Dazed And Confused"
ARTIST: Led Zeppelin
O-FACE SCORE: 4/6 SALLYS
Truth be told, we could've made a list composed entirely of 20 Robert Plant orgasms. However, we chose "Dazed And Confused" for this list, mainly for length purposes (pun intended, obvs). Beginning at the 2:10 mark of this song and lasting for a good two minutes and thirty seconds, Plant's guttural moans intertwine with Jimmy Page's animalistic guitar solos for one of the most sexually charged moments in the history of recorded music.
SONG: "Just Don't Bite It"
ARTIST: N.W.A.
O-FACE SCORE: 4/6 SALLYS
The legacy of N.W.A. is undeniable. The gangsta rap pioneers are nominated for induction into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame this year, but even if they make the cut, it's unlikely that anyone will mention the sex rhyme "Just Don't Bite It" as one of their best songs. This song was recorded in the band's dicey post-Ice Cube era, when the group struggled to come up with material that wasn't about Eazy-E getting blowjobs. More than any other song on our list, this one is the most X-rated.
SONG: "Sexy Eiffel Tower"
ARTIST: Bow Wow Wow
O-FACE SCORE: 4/6 SALLYS
If you've got kids in the room, it's officially earmuffs time. This 1981 song by the band best known for their love of sugary sweets ("I Want Candy") is all about a woman who can only reach climax by hurling her body off the Eiffel Tower. We always knew that suicide is painless, but who knew it could be so downright erotic, too?!?
SONG: "Benihana"
ARTIST: Marilyn Chambers
O-FACE SCORE: 5/6 SALLYS
Adult film star Marilyn Chambers's 1976 song was inspired by the disco hit "More More More." You wouldn't think that a trip to the local Benihana would result in a 5 star orgasm, but then again, Marilyn is a pro (and we can only assume she loved the way that the chef flipped shrimp tails into his hat).
SONG: "Jungle Fever"
ARTIST: The Chakachas
O-FACE SCORE: 5/6 SALLYS
Director Paul Thomas Anderson chose wisely by including this 1972 classic on the soundtrack to his porn epic Boogie Nights. There are no words in this funky disco opus, just a series of increasingly saucy, sexual moans. We'll have what she's having!
SONG: "Pillow Talk"
ARTIST: Sylvia Robinson
O-FACE SCORE: 5/6 SALLYS
Things sure were a lot sexier in the 1970s, eh? Sylvia Robinson's 1973 song promises that her pillow talk is better than anyone elses, and boy oh boy, does she ever deliver! Starting at about the 2 minute and 20 second mark of this song, she starts eschewing words altogether in favor of the kinds of noises you generally only hear in the privacy of your own boudoir. She even starts speaking in tongues at one point. Ay yay yay yayyyy, indeed!
SONG: "Kiss Kiss Kiss"
ARTIST: John Lennon & Yoko Ono
O-FACE SCORE: 5/6 SALLYS
You'd be hard-pressed to find a more reviled personality in music history than Yoko Ono. For that reason alone, most people would rather not listen to Yoko get her Ono on. However, since we're objective scientists here at VH1, we put our personal feelings aside and listened to her song with John Lennon from his 1980 album Double Fantasy. Starting at 1:50 or so and lasting for a full minute, this is a moment of carnal bliss captured on record. "There is the sound of a woman coming to a climax on it, and she is crying out to be held, to be touched," Yoko once said when asked about this song. "It will be controversial, because people still feel it's less natural to hear the sounds of a woman's lovemaking than, say, the sound of a Concorde, killing the atmosphere and polluting nature." #MOTOMOTOMOTO
SONG: "Love To Love You Baby"
ARTIST: Donna Summer
O-FACE SCORE:
When Donna Summer appeared on VH1's Behind The Music, she explained that she got her orgasmic inspiration on this 1975 disco classic from picturing herself as Marilyn Monroe acting out the part of someone in sexual ecstasy. Take THAT, "Candle In The Wind"!
SONG: "Je T'Aime Moi Non Plus"
ARTIST: Serge Gainsbourg & Jane Birkin
O-FACE SCORE:
They say that French is the language of love but this is RIDICULOUS! (In a sexy way, natch.) If you don't parlez Francais, the title of this 1969 (heh heh) song translates to "I Love You...Me Neither," but that's far and away the least sexy line in the entire track. Some of the potent lyrics translate as "I go and I come, between your loins" and "You are the wave, I the naked/treeless/deserted island." The entire track is delivered by Birkin in a breathless state of erotic arousal, but particularly the segments that starts around 2:30 and again at 4:05. Two orgasms in 4 minutes? No wonder Serge Gainsbourg is such a legendary ladies man!