heidi klum seal
victoria’s secret models
Models and rock stars go together like rhythm and blues, but do models and music go together? For some reason, it’s not enough for most supermodels that they are the most beautiful women in the world; they want to be pop stars, too! Of course, life’s not fair, and some of these supermodels have totally crossed over into the world of music. Luckily, that’s not usually the case. What usually happens is that an overly confident model tries to sing in public to spectacularly embarrassing results. Here are ten examples of supermodels who made super efforts at singing stardom ranked from least to most embarrassing.
10) Karen Elson’s video for “The Ghost Who Walks”
Let’s get this out of the way: Karen Elson’s transition from supermodel to rocker isn’t embarrassing at all! “Fashion’s Red Queen” started performing in cabaret theaters in New York City ten years ago and immediately garnered a positive critical reception. She started working on her first album in secret while she was still married to Jack White. Eventually, he found out about her musical ambitions and helped produce her critically acclaimed first album.
9) Milla Jovovich performing “The Gentleman Who Fell”
Like Elson, the only thing that’s embarrassing about Milla Jovovich’s music career is that some people might find her sincere love of poetry mixed with pop mixed with Ukrainian folk songs mixed with a hint of fairy dust is, well, cheesy. But do you know what’s more embarrassing? Being best-known for starring in the Resident Evil films when you could have been a cool niche musician.
8) Agyness Deyn collaborating with Five O’Clock Heroes on “Who”
Agyness Deyn has been called one of the top models of the 00s, but in 2012 she retired from modeling to focus on music, fashion design, acting and making out with Giovanni Ribisi in supermarkets. Deyn used to be in a band called the Lucky Knitwear, but her biggest musical turn came when she provided guest vocals on the Five O’Clock Heroes song, “Who.” NME panned the song and it only ever charted at #109 in the UK. However, it’s not so…bad. The song’s failure is the embarrassing part about this.
7) Cara Delevingne duetting with Will Heard on “Sonnentanz (Sun Don’t Shine)”
Have you ever wanted to watch a pretty girl murmur into a microphone for a few minutes! Well, you can wait no longer! Cara Delevingne is pretty good in this duet with Will Heard, but we can’t tell if that’s because Heard is doing most of the musical heavy-lifting.
6) Naomi Campbell “Love and Tears”
Lest we forget, Naomi Campbell once tried to become an actual singer. She released an album in 1995 that’s all ’90s R&B cheese. The vocals are decent, but they never really caught on in the mainstream. However, she did become a major pop star in Japan.
Of course, we have to ask: Is there any more dubious honor than being a pop star in Japan? On the one hand, there are people who are obsessed with your music. On the other, no one in the rest of the world cares.
5) Gisele Bundchen covering the Kinks’s “All Day And All of the Night” for an H&M ad
Gisele Bundchen is a very beautiful woman and I’ve heard very nice things about her from friends who attend the same kung fu studio that she does in Boston, but she can’t sing. Luckily for her, “All Day And All of The Night” doesn’t require the voice of a nightingale.
4) That time Kate Moss got drunk and sang with Babyshambles
If any other woman in the world drunkenly stormed a stage during her troubled boyfriend’s gig and started singing, “Is she more beautiful than me?” in an off-key pitch, we’d laugh her off stage. Kate Moss only gets a bye on this mess of a performance because she’s singing in Montmatre, where this kind of thing seems really cool, and because she’s Kate Moss, and everything she does is cool.
3) Tyra Banks “Shake Ya Body”
Never forget that Tyra Banks not only believed that she could be a major pop star, but she also incorporated the finalists from season two of America’s Next Top Model into her big music video. There are even serif font chyrons of their names. “Yoanna…” “April…” “Shandi…”
2) Heidi Klum “singing” with Seal at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show
Oof. There are a lot of embarrassing things happening in this video. First, Seal is on national television singing a love song and then right when he sings, “You are my angel,” Heidi Klum emerges wearing fashion from the Victoria’s Secret Angel line. Then she starts to sing along with her then-husband. Then it’s apparent that she can’t sing. Then it’s clear she’s lip-synching. Then I had to stop watching before *I* died of second-hand embarrassment.
1) Victoria’s Secret Models butchering “Deck The Halls”
This video is a thing of rare beauty. Yes, you’ve got gorgeous women in lingerie singing a Christmas carol, but none of those women can sing! Just when you’re wondering why Victoria’s Secret would torture us with a video of tone-deaf beauties, it switches into a collection of embarrassing outtakes. One of the models can’t remember that “la-la-la-la” comes after “Fa-la-la-la-la” in the chorus! One of the models thinks halls are decked with honey! Miranda Kerr sings an off-key “Santa Baby!” THIS VIDEO IS THE BEST!
Especially at the end when Doutzen Kroes laments, “It’s not fair to have a model sing!”