Someone Is Suing Empire for a Billion Dollars for Stealing Their Life Story

The similarities are shocking, like people wearing hats and tables existing.

You’ve probably never heard of Ron Newt, but he thinks you’re watching his life story on Fox every week and he’s not happy about it.

The self-described “known ghetto player” says he once met with Terrence Howard and discussed his documentary Bigger than Big — for which the tagline is the perfect, punctuationless, and confusingly capitalized, “A Journey into the darkest most dangerous inner secret parts of the world,” which Empire totally would have stolen while it was stealing everything else if this lawsuit was remotely valid.

According to TMZ, here are the similarities Newt found between Empire and Bigger than Big:

— “Empire” … 4 drug dealers killed. “Bigger than Big” script: 4 drug dealers were killed.
— “Empire” … Lucious shot his long-time friend. BTB: Prince shoots his friend.
— “Empire” has a round table. BTB: Round table!
— “Empire” … Cookie goes to jail for drugs. BTB: China Doll goes to jail for drugs.
— “Empire” … Cookie is released from prison. BTB: China Doll released from the big house.
— “Empire” … Cookie with hat. BTB: China Doll with hat.

People wearing hats?! A round table?! Well shut this whole thing down; I think this case is closed. What was it Johnnie Cochran once said? If the table is round, guilty you must be found? It was probably that.

Newt is suing Howard, Lee Daniels, and the rest of the Empire team for a billion dollars. Godspeed, Newt.

At this point, who doesn’t think Empire is about them?