Today is National Teacher Appreciation Day, a time when we reflect on the patient, compassionate, and selfless individuals who taught us good ol’ reading, ’writin’ and ’rithmatic. Honestly, we have no idea where we’d be without them. They handed us the keys to knowledge, and set us on a path to a better, more enriching life. So what better way to honor their legacy than think about all the times we secretly wanted to sleep with them!
C’mon, we’re definitely not the only ones. Many musicians have paid tribute to these (not so) innocent adolescent crushes. To prove it, we’ve decided to take a look out our 10 favorite lustful teacher anthems. These are songs that give a whole new meaning to the phrase “After-school special”…
10. “To Sir, With Love” by Lulu (1967)
A+ Lyric: “How do you thank someone who has taken you from Crayons to perfume? It isn’t easy, but I’ll try…”
9. “The Art Teacher” by Rufus Wainwright (2004)
A+ Lyric: “He had taken our class to the Metropolitan Museum. He asked us what our favorite work of art was, but never could I tell it was him.”
8. “Teacher I Need You” by Elton John (1972)
A+ Lyric: “She was long and she was lean, she’s a middle-aged dream. And that lady means the whole world to me.”
7. “When I Kissed The Teacher” by ABBA (1976)
A+ Lyric: “Leaning over me, he was trying to explain the laws of geometry. And I couldn’t help it, I just had to kiss the teacher.”
6. “Teach Me Tonight” by Amy Winehouse (2005)
A+ Lyric: “One thing isn’t very clear, my love. Should the teacher stand so near, my love?”
5. “Teacher, Teacher” by Rockpile (1980)
A+ Lyric: “School’s out, bells’ll ring. Now’s the time to teach me everything.”
4. “Just Sixteen” by Velvet Revolver (2007)
A+ Lyric: “Underneath the bleachers, the kid and Mrs. Jones. She’s his favorite teacher. Consider it love 101.”
3. “Hot For Teacher” by Van Halen (1984)
A+ Lyric: “I don’t feel tardy”
2. “Teacher’s Pet” by Venom (1982)
A+ Lyric: “Teacher caught me masturbating underneath my desk. She looked at me and winked her eye and said ’see you after class.'”
1. “Scandalous Scholastics” by Gym Class Heroes (2006)
A+ Lyric: All of it.
“Don’t Stand So Close To Me” by The Police (1980)
All of these tales of May-December classroom romance seemed to turn out pretty well, for the most part. But the creepy-meter is off the charts in this classic from The Police, chronicling an illicit love affair between a teacher and the student object of his obsession.